What is Child Support Custody
Child custody and guardianship are legal terms which are sometimes used to describe the legal and practical relationship between a parent and his or her child, such as the right of...
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Child support for collage age children
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I have a bit of a problem, maybe somewhat unusual compared to most circumstances.
I have been paying child support for my 4 children for years. When I oldest became 21, and got married I never ordered a support order modification because I knew if I did, the amount I pay would lower, and I always felt the children and their mother could use all the help they could get, so I never changed a thing. Well through the years, this has put me further and further in debt, to the point that for the first time this year, I had to file bankruptcy. The bankruptcy has caused to take a second look at the child support order, I now need to get it lowered, or I won’t be able to survive financially. The children’s mom and I have always gotten along great, even after the divorce, I’ve given her money above and beyond the money from the support order, loaned her my car when she’s needed it for transportation reasons, done repairs and fixed things at her home, I feel I’ve done my part to help out over the years. But something has happened lately that really has me troubled. Whenever my ex has had “issues” with the children, she has called me, told me her side of the story, then I would jump the kids and scold them, not really taking in to consideration what their side of the story may have been, I always sided with mom, and that was that. I now feel horrible. Turns out mom has NOT been the “angel” she has professed to be, the kids are afraid of her and asked me to come rescue them the other day and the two oldest kids, (collage age) are now with me. (youngest one is still with mom) These kids have been working their butts off to earn money for college, to pay tuition, books, housing, ect, and their mother strong armed them out of their money, I’m not talking about a few hundred here and there, I’m talking thousands. It doesn’t matter to me if my collage age kids live with me, or their mother, that child support is for the childrens benefit for an education, and I have no issues paying my portion, even if they live under my roof as they attend school. Mom on the other hand is madder then a hornet, she is demanding that the kids move back into her home, she says there is no way she will contribute a single dime to their education, and says the support they are getting belongs to her. Child support is for the benefit of the child, not the parent, and when it c0omes to a collage age child, that support they are entitled to past the age of 18 is intended to give them a better chance at an education. I am asking the courts to order their mother to pay the collage age children support, in addition to the support that I am paying them Child support is calculated on the combined income of both parents, then the portion I pay is based on the percentage of the combined income that I earn, in my case, 60% so the kids are missing out on the 40% of that combined income that their mother earns. This friendly relationship that I’ve shared with my ex all these years is now very strained, she won’t talk to me at all. What has me upset is how she has taken the money away from the kids, she strong arms them out of it, threatening to kick them out if they don’t hand it over, and she never once considered what they may have for school bills, I’m really troubled with this, and the kids are saying that she’s been like this for years. The kids can live with me and still receive the support I pay, I realize and understand what it’s for, the kids and very frugal with their money, but their school bills are mounting because thir mom keeps taking their money away from them. I’ve shown the kids the laws, brought them up to speed on what their rights are, and that’s another reason their mom hates me right now, they had no idea, they thought mom governed everything and they had no say in any of it. Are the kids and I wrong to ask they she pay her portion of the support order? The extra money would certainly help them out with schooling, and living with me they won’t be losing any more of their money to their mom. I just think it’s wrong to take money away from a kid like that. Posted on 09/23/09, 12:09 am |
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The other concern I have, and this also has me extremely scared is that my ex is a horrible driver, every time she has borrowed my car, I’ve always looked it over for dents when she’s brought it back.
She’s wrecked every car she has ever owned; she’s lost her license a couple of times over the years due to tickets and accidents, one accident she had, she almost killed an elderly couple, the couple ended up in the hospital in critical condition from that accident. Her insurance premium is through the roof, the kids say they think it’s something like 400 a month for just liability. I know of at least 4 accidents she’s had in the last year, the 4th one just happened. One of the kids was telling me the other day that she was riding with her mom in the car, mom wasn’t paying attention almost wrecked, my daughter grabbed the wheel from her mom, yanked the car back on the road to prevent another accident, and told her mom to pay attention to her driving at which point mom snapped back and said, “I don’t need to, you’re here” mom had an accident later that day when she was driving alone. I don’t think I want my kids in the car with her when she’s driving, someone is going to get seriously hurt or killed and her bad driving is really coming to light right now, the kids are talking and her driving scares them to death, and I’m really afraid someone is going to get hurt or worse. 
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the kids are calling me at work tonight, and so is their mom, she's verbilly hammering the cap out of them and me right now.
this is really bad, and I feel so sorry for my kids, I don't know what more I can do for them right now other then get them away from their mother, she's telling them that my support to them will end, it will not end, they are in collage, and I have no intentions of ending my support to my children
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Things seem to be a little more peaceful today; I'm keeping close tabs on the kids to make sure there are not any more rifts with their mom, she got pretty ugly with them yesterday
the issues at hand are: mom supports the kids going to college, but wants them to give her the support that I pay them, I say that isn't right, it's for the kids to be used for their collage needs,(that’s why the checks go to the kids and not mom) I am asking that mom also pay her portion of the support obligation, and she says no way will she do it, it's not her responsibility to help pay for the kids attending college, I think it's both our responsibilities.
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This is insane.
NO ONE pays child support for children past 18. Read your divorce papers. i don't want this to sound mean, but you are being taken advantage of. This is a terrible example you are setting for your children about how relationships work. Get those kids out of there. They ar past 18, they CAN and should make their own decisions. Stop rescuing your Ex-wife. You are asking for t rouble.
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Actually a lot of people pay support for children who are older than 18. It is called a post secondary education subsidy and it generally is paid directly to the college that a "child" is attending. Dad pays 1/3, mom pays 1/3 and the kid pays 1/3. There are cases in which the support can be paid directly to the ex spouse but it shouldn't be too difficult to petition the Court to direct payment to the college rather than the spouse. Like PF said, these kids are actually adults and they don't have to deal with mom if they don't want to and they certainly don't have to get into a car with her.
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Child for children 18yrs of age and out of high school varies from state to state. Most states do not require support for children graduated from high school. However, if you have agreed to this via your divorce agreement you may be obligated. Either way if these adult children wish to live with you then you should not be paying her the support but rather give it to them if you desire.
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