Cervical Cancer Support Group

This may seem insensitive, and really that's not my intention at all, I'm just trying to get a better picture. My heart goes out to all who've struggled against cancer in all its forms and I am awed by the courage and committment of those who've survived and continue to struggle against this disease. I don't know much about cervical cancer though. My only experiences with cancer are my parents (breast and prostate) and an uncle who lost a heart rending battle with pancreatic cancer 4 years ago. I saw what they endured and know what our family went through which is why I am so confused now.

I have a co-worker who's a nice enough lady, but she's frequently ducking out of work early, leaving others to finish her projects or just leaving people in the lurch. She's often absent from meetings and planning sessions and makes much of what she says is a cervical cancer diagnosis. She says she's had recurrent episodes every year for the last 14 years and is currently on pill based chemotherapy treatment. At first she had my full sympathy. The staff of my department have all tried to cover for her missed work as much as possible, especially because she says her 12 year old son is having difficulty adjusting to her condition.

Lately things don't seem to be adding up. Last week we had a division meeting she had to leave early to go for her chemotherapy treatment, but when the meeting let out some of us noticed her car was still in the parking lot and later saw her at our favorite "diet-buster" lunch spot having a meal with a rambunctious group of friends, martinis and beers in hand. It wasn't the first time one of her "appointments" excused her absence from an important meeting where she was later seen hanging around in the few blocks around the office. The absenteeism has become such a problem though that one of our supervisors asked her to bring in a doctor's note for her next missed session, and a letter confirming her treatment schedule as she's now requested all tuesdays off to make the hour drive to clinic where she receives the chemotherapy pills. She had a huge tantrum about it in the breakroom and said that hers is a free/low-income clinic how was she supposed to get a letter from a doctor there. I didn't understand why that would be a problem, a note from a treating physician is pretty much standard at any facility I thought.

It makes me wonder if she's been lying. And if she is what if anything I/we should do about it. I hate that if she is lying she's using a disease that real women are truly struggling against and in my view such a lie demeans the real battles going on everyday. If she is lying I want her to stop because it seems like a slap in the face of everyone who really does have to juggle treatment and work and family, and all the frightening feelings.

I think about my aunt and how my uncle's decline broke her heart every day. How his death was both a relief and a soul-tearing wound from which she will never heal. I think about being afraid my mother would die and leave us alone, or that my father would never hug me or smile at me again. But I've never known anyone with cervical cancer and so I don't know what I could be seeing to but my doubts to rest. I guess I'm asking if this situation seems plausible and if not what can/should I do if anything about her honesty or lack of.

Thanks,
b.
Posted on 10/15/09, 12:10 pm