Cervical Cancer Support Group

Hi Mick,

What a wonderful, caring person you are. I'm dealing with dysplasia, the abnormal cells that lead to cervical cancer, and can tell you that it can be tricky for them to diagnose until they are able to get in and really see. In a year, they told me 'it's nothing, to 'some dysplasia' to 'severe dysplasia'. I am awaiting results to see if, indeed, it may be worse.

Your friend, who is very young, is going through an incredibly difficult, and confusing time. It sounds as though she has full cancer, and that it is advanced. She is most likely dealing with the thoughts of 'what happens if I don't make it', which is criminal for someone so young. The chemo, the impact to her mental state, the hormonal changes - these are all factors that are going to make her feel angry, confused, depressed and unsure. As she works through the reality of what is going on, these are all normal reactions - and healthy for her to express.

As for you, this is a great site to come to. As a friend and supporter, you need an outlet for your feelings. I was a caregiver during my Dad's terminal illness, and I know firsthand how difficult it is to try and put on a strong face when you are dealing with your own emotions and thoughts. I'm not saying she's terminal - there's a good chance she can overcome - but it's OK for you to be concerned, afraid, sad or whatever you feel. In fact, it's unhealthy for you to hold this in.

You are being the best friend you can be, and that's all you can do. Be there to listen, and know your job is not to make things better - that's a burden too great for anyone. Tell her how you really feel, that you care, and that she can count on you. If you are afraid, tell her - the truth is much more meaningful than a well-intentioned white lie.

This is a great place to ask questions and gain support. I'd also recommend the caregiving group, as you'll find a lot of people feeling the way you are.

If you want to ask me anything, feel free - I always welcome the opportunity to 'pay back' for all the support I've received here. I wish only the best for you, and hope your friend gets well soon.

Hello,

I just wanted to let you know that you and your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully she has faith in God and can lean on him during this time. This is a horrible thing to have to go through at any age, but 19 is so young. Let her know she is not alone and that there is always someone out there willing to listen, help and it sounds like you are being that someone for her. God Bless and keep us posted.

Thanks for replying.

I have faith and pray for Danielle every night. That they will find out what is wrong, that she will feel better, that the pain will go away, that she will have better days.
She has kind of lost her faith. She came to PA for school and while she was gone, both her uncle and grand-mother passed away. That is one of the reasons why she and her family have problems. She was both their caregiver and when she left..they both stopped caring. Won't take their meds and stuff...so she blames herself for what happened.

She has given so much to other, putting them first...and now when she needs me most, I can't be there. I can't hold her hand when she goes in for treatments, can't hold her when her tummy hurts or be there when she is sick. I want to...but I need to finish my internship and don't have the $ to fly.

She decided to go back to CA for school, to be closer to her family. It was a good ideal because it is cheaper for her and she and her sisters are doing better, but then this happened.

Update: So I got some BAD news today.

First, Danielle is kind of like night and day. We can be joking and talking about stuff. How her mom makes her laugh and does stupid things, how is days was, how her sisters tick her off..stuff like that. Then it will change.
She get mad or down, and I guess she takes it out on me. Says things that I know she kind of doesn't mean, but they need to come out. How I won't reply right back to one of her texts, how I'm a "jerk" for this or that..I queses her way of getting stuff out. I know she does it bc not matter what, I'm not going to stop caring, stop talking to or at least trying.

Any ways..the news. Now this I still don't understand. He doctor told her today that he is Stopping her treatment. That since its not working!?! Like WTF
I asked what are they going to do and she is like "there's nothing they can do", then she goes on about how she might not be alive for me to come back to CA and visit her. I just don't understand how this is all happening.

Go from being told you have cancer, told its not that bad, to getting chemo, then told its getting worse, then told the treatment is stopping all in like 3 weeks.
This is why my day is Horrible...she is like this, dealing with all of this....and I can't do Anything!!

Welcome, Mick!

I have followed along your posts and it sounds to me like you may be dealing with more than just cervical cancer when it comes to your friend. Please don't think of me as being harsh, but it sounds as though she may be in need of some counseling. Treatment for cancer takes TIME. Even a stage 1 as I had took 2 months to take care of between waiting on multiple doctor's appointments, referrals, pathology reports etc.

Do what you can for her as a friend, but please don't let her emotional instablility debilitate you. The best thing you can do is stay strong and have her get the medical and emotional help that she needs.

Hugs to you.

Kelley

So my grandmother passed away last night. She had been sick. I am ok, I think...



I couldn't really see her the last week because it was to hard. She couldn't really talk or anything, just laying in bed. And that wasn't how I wanted to remember her. I know that I couldn't do anything for her and I know that she is at peace now. She is watching over me...smiling.



So now I need help. I don't know how to deal with Danielle (she has cervical cancer, and its hard for her. She lives in CA and I live in PA. She family is like up and down, not always there for her. I am like the only one who really cares about her). I don't want to seem like I am not being there for her, but at the same time..I need to be with my family. I can't tell her what happened, because she'll turn it around and make it seem like I am not focused on her.



She is doing good. The one school she was trying to get into, screwed her over and she didn't get in this semester, so she is going to community till the Spring.

Her family spent the weekend at Disneyland. She had an ok time. She was tired yesterday and today she felt better, but she sister were being bitches and didn't want to do anything with her. She also didn't have enough money to get a message yesterday and had to watch her nephew and niece (two little loves).



I know that I couldn't really do anything for her, but I want to. I know that she is still going through alot. She still doesn't know if her treatment will stop yet or if she is going to get her surgery. I just hope and pray that she is doing better. I want her to get well and beat this thing. I am hoping to visit her in Aug, before school starts.



-Mick Out