What is Caring-For-Aging-Parents
Elderly care or simply eldercare is the fulfillment of the special needs and requirements that are unique to senior citizens. This broad term encompasses such services as assisted ...
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Mom has given up
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My dad died in May, he suffered from Dementia. My mom sits & does very little all day. I have enrolled her in an adult daycare once a week (that is all she will go) & she goes to a small senior group once a week at our church. She depends on me for everything. She will not drive & won't even go to church unless I go although there are others who would take her. She is afraid to go outside for fear of falling even though my brother pays for a monitoring device which she wears 24/7. I feel so guilty but I feel I have to back off & not live her life for her. Sometimes I feel like she died with our father. She will not even write her own checks & feels that since I was appointed guardian for her I should do everything.
Posted on 09/30/09, 12:09 pm |
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Has she been to her doctor to see if she's suffering from depression (sure sounds like it)? If so, there may be medication that could improve her mood so she might want to go out again. Your dad is dead only six months, so she may still be in mourning... 
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Your mother is grieving and wants to be taken care of and protected. She must have been very well taken care of by your father and much loved by him. Let her get back into life gradually. I agree with SaraBT that an antidepressant would help. Grieving for someone you've spent most of your life with lasts for a while, but it is good that she does some things once a week. Just taking her out for a walk on a nice day is good, or browsing through a mall...whatever distractions you can think of that won't require too much energy. A little bit at a time, one day at a time. I pray that she gets back into life. Take care.
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So sorry for you, and your mom. It's extremely hard on an elderly person when the love of their life passes away after so many years together. I'm hoping that she'll realize that although your dad is gone....life must continue for her. I'm wondering if she's clinically depressed, and if so....her doctor can advise you in ways to help her.
I hope your mom feels better, but it's something which may take time. Good Luck and take care. Sabrina
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I agree with the others here and would talk to her Dr about an antidepressant even if its just for a spell.
Maybe you could encourage her that the guardianshp stuff is only when she is not able and she is so you want her to sit down with you to help pay the bills so she can see what she has, etc. That way maybe, just maybe you can get her involved a little bit with out sounding like you are being too sturn with her. I can't imagine being in her shoes right now. It has to be horrible for her but still, you want her to enjoy someting in her life right now and she will not if she stays like she is now. Good luck to you and please let us know how things are going for all of you.
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