What is Caregivers
A voluntary caregiver is the modern terminology for an unpaid spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and ass...
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Hope I'm in the right place. ;-)
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Hello to one and all. I'm praying I'm in the right place for support but know if i'm not, yall can direct me to where I should go if not here.
I have a friend of 16 yrs. who has been diagnosed with Liver Cancer and has been given less than 3 months to live. I will call him T. His wife I will call L. We've all been as close a close can be and are family. T is bed ridden and his wife L, recently took a leave from absence from her job under the Family Leave Act to be at home with her husband. Hospice is also involved to help take some of the burden off of them. And I have also made them a top priority by being of help and service to them both in anyway possible. As of yesterday, L and I sat down again talking over the whole situation. With no income coming in, am helping her to find resources for assistance such as food stamps and the likes. Her husband T has of course filed for disability and it's still pending. This part started when he got so sick he couldn't work anymore (about 2 months ago). He's been in and out of Hospital of course for draining and such in which our state insurance has picked up, thank the Lord. If worse comes to worse and they can't get any benefits (Food stamps and the likes), then L will have to go back to work. they can't afford to hite a caretaker and I have offered to take over that position...since as I said, they are family and I feel compelled to do this. I am not a nurse or anything like that, just a caregiver by nature to all that I'm around if that makes any sense. I know this will be a BIG challenge and a hard road. I also know I can't do this all by myself without support from those who know and understand what this involves. I also know without reaching out it could very well take it's toll on me if I'm not careful as in my own mental, emotional and physical welfare. If anyone has any suggestions or I'm in the right place, I would so appreciate your feedback. thank you in advance and God Bless. Shari (aka...Nibblet or Nibbs) ;-D Posted on 11/04/09, 12:11 pm |
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Ugh....my apologies yall....hit the send button before I proof read and spell-checked. :oP 
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Dear Nibbs, I'm so sorry about your friend's cancer and their situation. I was reading on another website some info about the question you asked. In most states there are programs, all with different names, that will pay a family member to be a "personal care assistant." Check out a site called caring.com. They have lots of good topics on caregiving. Your friends are very lucky to have you as a friend. I pray for you all to have strength to make it through this difficult time.
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thank you so much, DK. i so appreciate your help. I will read it because I feel that all aspects of reading and the like are pertinent to what my path is leading to. I know I have a big journey ahead of me and tho my thoughts are I'm scared, I'm ready to take this on, I know I need to be prepared. and make sure I'm ready and prepared. That's the reason I'm reaching out. I will definitely check out the site you have provided. I truly appreciate your help darlin'. God Bless, Nibbs
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Hi Shari,
How kind of you to make such a big offer at a time when your friends really need you. It is going to be intense. The more that you find ways to feed yourself through this the stronger you'll be, and the more you'll be able to help. It won't help anybody if you burn out. I would suggest identifying things that feed you: is it a quick walk in the woods? A candle-lit bath? Old movies with a glass of wine? Going to bed early? Journaling? I'd make a list, because you might forget when the going gets tough. Make sure that you something regularly to replenish yourself. I'd start taking vitamins too. Especially iron and the B-complex, which helps tremendously with stress. Stay in touch. We'll help if we can! xox Cecilia
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What a good friend you are. I care for my mom full time. Caregiving is a full time job that's for sure. I have found that the tasks themselves aren't difficult but it's the emotions that go with them. Bathing, helping to the toilet and feeding. But we should all have someone who is willing to do those things for us because you never know when it will be you. The biggest advice I can give is to remember to schedule breaks and timeouts. Even if their a half hour, 2 hours. Do something for yourself then you will be "fresh" to take care of your friend. I find if I've had a good nights sleep(which we don't get very often) or an hour nap or can watch a tv show straight through it realy revitalizes me. Good luck and God Bless
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