What is Caregivers
A voluntary caregiver is the modern terminology for an unpaid spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and ass...
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I am angry angry angry
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I just need somewhere to vent - I hope noone minds this!
My husband (40% disabled vet) went with his friends to an anime convention in Denver for the weekend. We live about 75 miles from there. Anyhow, this is the FIRST time I've allowed him to be gone overnight due to all his problems. So.... I got a call from his friend this morning (he left here Friday morning) wanting to know if I've heard from husband. Turns out (his friend heard this from someone who heard etc) jerkhead husband got arrested last night for groping some girl. I have no idea of the age of the girl, husband is 37. This is why he's not allowed to go anywhere without supervision. (Due to a brain injury he has little to no impulse control). So - he took with him (in case of emergency!!! ????) the $40 I'd earned to buy my daughter bday presents. She'll be seven in a few days. Now I have NO money for her bday. Which pisses me off so very much I can barely see straight. But - hubby hasn't contacted me at all. I don't know (or really care) where he is right now (city jail, county jail, no clue). I'm not looking for him. I think this is the FINAL straw. I don't care if I have to move back in with my alcoholic mother so she can be my babysitter while I go back to work. I'm sick and tired of my idiot husband. AND I'm soooooooooo close to calling his father right now, just to let him know hubby is in jail somewhere in the state. Heh heh heh. Anyhow, I just had to vent about this somewhere. Now back to my stupid online selling venue to beg for sales so I can buy my girl something for her bday. Posted on 09/13/09, 12:09 pm |
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Let's see, I've got an update of sorts! First, by having a half off sale in my online store, I made back the money husband took so my daughter can have some birthday presents after all! That's a big YAY!
Second, husband's friend called me, told me he found where J is being held and was going to pay the $500 to bail him out and bring him home. I spent about 5 minutes explaining to very nice friend why I wouldn't bail him out even if I had the money. He's 37 yo and it's time he finally has to pay the consequences for his actions - he was jailed overnight in our town once for reckless driving (back when he still drove), no insurance, no registration and invalid license. And he spent months whining about how horrid it was, how he wouldn't go to meals, just stayed in his bed the whole time. That was small town (Colo. Spgs) jail. I must say I'm wondering how he likes DENVER jail! I'm thinking it's much worse. The funny part is J hasn't called me at all. I wonder if he was hoping that his friend hadn't told me about his arrest and stuff and was just hoping friend would bail him out and he could come home and act like it never happened. On that note, though, how would he be able to get back to Denver for the court date? As I said, he doesn't drive and would have no way to get there without me knowing...... And finally, I talked to J's dad. J is not welcome back there either......... 
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Is your husband enrolled in the VA Health care system ? They can provide a lot of care (physical and mental) at no cost to you.
I can understand your frustrations with him - it seems like you are beating your head against the wall. Good luck - it sounds like you are going to need it. Good job on making sure your little girl gets some birthday gifts. You are a good mom.
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Yep, he sure is, has been for a couple years now. He has weekly psychiatric appts, monthly meds management appts, monthly addiction appts, we're supposed to be doing weekly family therapy appts, etc thru the VA. matter of fact, he has a physical therapy appt tomorrow.
latest update: He tried to call me today, collect of course. My cell phone is actually my father's cell phone that he lets me use, and his plan doesn't accept collect calls. LOL - and there is no way of letting him know I'm not just refusing the calls, there is just no way for me to accept. I'm assuming he'll be arraigned today. We'll see what's what! Back to cleaning house - and thanks all for letting me blabber on and on and on........... lol
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Very sorry to hear about your drama. What will u do when he shows up at your house? I am glad u will b able to get your daughter giftd 4 her bd.
I hope things r better 4 u. My husband is also a disabled vet. Right now we r having drama 2. I know 4 me it is draining. Wishing u the best.
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Thanks for all the good wishes! I made a phone call (yes, I bestirred my lazy self, lol) and found he will be arraigned FRIDAY! Wow, Denver is really backed up! He is bipolar, depressed, mood disorders, etc - I wonder how he's handling it? Heh heh heh. I know, I'm evil!
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You are not evil. You are trying to survive.
Too often, we enable the people we take care of by not letting them handle some of their own problems. Now that he has had to cool his heels in a far away jail for a few days, he may think twice before he does the next thing. Get him to the VA shrink as soon as possible. Tell them you have had it. Still keeping you in my thoughts - prayers.
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Good gravy, I've told all of his shrinks, etc that I have had it, so many times. LOL - especially the last few months. Ah well, maybe this will help his case some, seeing that NOW his problems are causing OTHER problems, maybe they'll get a move on with finding him a bed in their longterm facility.
I will admit I do feel a touch bad for him, but not bad enough to try to get him out, lol. I did find out how to make a prepaid account for my phone number so he can call me - but - it's kinda dumb, it takes a minimum of $25 as well as a small ($3?5?) processing fee to set it up. I have $10.88 in my account, so.... lol, I guess he can't call. Back to cleaning house! blah........
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I am new here on daily strength, so I've just caught up on your situation. I hope in all of your struggles you can find a few moments of peace a day for yourself. My situation is difficult and frustrating, too, and I find that an hour out for coffee with a friend once a month, or 10 minutes of reading a book I am enjoying or twenty minutes in a hot tub can be a life saver. Keeping an even attitude is hard enough and with kids around it's more essential and more difficult! I understand well the struggles you face. I hope you and your daughter are doing better now.
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