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Changing... Getting more difficult to handle..
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The man that I care for has Alzheimer's disease..., He is almost immobile, he can only take a few steps, he is incontinent (urine only Thank Heavens) He usually is very chipper and jokes alot.... however it seems that we are headed for change, he has entered into this quiet/ angry stage. He refuses to take his medication, he will NOT get in the shower, he is constantly telling me "fine, just throw it in the damn trash", and he has also gotten a lot quieter.
i give him a bird bath the best I can with him sitting on the pot, however I never feel like he gets clean enough.... any Ideas on tricking him into the shower??? He is afraid he will fall i think, he always says that he just had one...errrrr I am going to start crushing his pills up and putting them in applesauce or ice cream, I pray that will fix that problem, he loves sweets. Any pointers on not burning out would be great as well. I live here and work here... I do not have a car to just get away when needed, Some-days I start at 8am and go until after midnight. I am the ONLY one that cares for him. His wife is 75 and I care for her as well.... and the children , they never come around. So I am their sole provider 7 days a week. I can feel myself getting more tired, becoming less patient (I am a very patient perswon) , and starting to withdraw.... I am also the housekeeper, gardener, handyman...or handygirl, I am the hair dresser, personal shopper, personal chef, and the list goes on. I am not complaining, I truly love the people that I am with, they are my family, and I want to be here doing this, just need a few pointers... Oh we were having home health come in 2x a week to get him up, and bathed... but for some reason they discontinued that. They came to the conclusion that he would not get better, and there was nothing else they could do for him??? Yeah I am still confused on that one. Sorry to just keep going on and on, but it feels good to get this all out!! Whew TY > Posted on 07/21/11, 06:19 am |
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I am sorry to hear of your troubles... Do you have a shower chair in the shower? This might help if he's worried about falling. My husband is also immobile, however cannot even take a few steps. I give him a bed bath using a bucket of warm water and have started using a "active sports" body wash for men instead of regular soap -- this stuff really cuts back on odors and seems to get him much cleaner, though never really as clean as a good shower.
I often "trick" my husband into doing things by promising him a treat. If you do X I'll let you have Y. Often works. You might try it with the sweets. You might also ask his doctor if there is something he can prescribe for anxiety/depression. I had to put my husband on an anti-anxiety med, it works wonders. Crushing the pills is a good idea! Just make sure all his pills can be crushed (just read the label, it will say "DO NOT CRUSH" if you can't) It sounds as if you are doing a wonderful job and a wonderful thing. Hang in there! Wish I could give advice on burnout, but I'm pretty well burnt out myself! I just spent all night up with my hubby, three times wetting the bed, one bowel movement and now I'm out of clean sheets! You are not alone.... 
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Like you, I don't understand home health care's reasoning. I know that in home physical therapy can cancel if there is no improvement, but home nursing care is a whole 'nother can of beans. I'd contact his primary care doctor, and get a new order for home nursing care to get him bathed. At his age, along with his wifes age, I'm guessing that he is under medicare coverage, and that too will provide for several different home care benefits. I would check the phone book and contact your local Elder Care center, County Health Department, local hospital, etc. for assistance. There is help out there through those various organizations, but they have to be contacted. I have had the best information and assistance through my county health department, including respite assistance. I do know that home health care through medicare, provides bathing, changing bedding, meds assistance, health monitoring, cathater changes, and some minor counseling............speaking from direct experience. If you have any questions, drop me a message and I'll reply within 12 hrs. You definately have your hands full, and I'll do all I can from a distance to help. Lots of hugs.
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As Molly pointed out above, a shower bench is a life saver. My wife refused to take a shower because she had a fall a year ago. So we resorted to spounge bathes. When the home healthcare nurse started coming by, she recommended a shower bench that has a swivil chair, and then slides into the shower/tube. It has an adjustable heigth, and locks into position in the tub and outside the tub. The patient sits on the bench seat outside of the shower, then swivels and slides into the shower area. After the shower, the chair slides outside of the shower area, swivels and locks for comfortable movements and transfers. They are expensive and not covered by insurance or medicare, but work fantastically. Cost is about $250.
If you need/want more information on the item, let me know and I'll send you the internet site where I bought ours. It's been a life saver here, so to speak.
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I had the same problem with home health care bailing out on me. They came for about a month and then discontinued. I was told by the home care case manager that they were only there to "teach" me how to take care of my husband so that I could do it alone and since I had things under control, they were discharging my husband. A friend of mine told me I should have acted more incompetent! My husband has Medicare.
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Thank you all for the supportive words of wisdom, and great advice. I continue to take it day by day, I stay tired, but every night after I get Marston (patient) to bed, he thanks me and tells me how great of a job I did that day... that gives me the energy for tomorrow.
God Bless all of you!@ >
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