Career Changes Support Group

Disclaimer: I'm not the most romantic person on the planet.

I don't understand why you (or anyone) would consider making a sacrifice for your long-term happiness for a relationship that may or may not survive a stint at uni. The way I figure, if it can't withstand that, what's the point? You've got to look out for yourself and do what you want. Take care of yourself. 3 hours away isn't that bad. There are things like Skype that will allow you to talk to each other often, and you can make trips every other weekend or whatever.

Stability is a wonderful thing. A wonderful relationship is a wonderful thing.

The way I make these sort of decisions is kinda weird. I am lying on my death bed reviewing my life and thinking what did I do that I am most proud of in my life and what do I regret.

B/c I see it like we are here a limited amount of time on earth. And during that time we get to choose, thank God, how we would like to spend that time.

For me there after doing this exercise I found a relatively short list of things I mostly wanted to experience in this lifetime. So I sort of compare what I am DOING / how I'm spending my time with what that list is.

It is a matter of figuring out what is really important and then breaking it down into steps to figure out how to mesh it all together.

For me my short list has really NEVER changed and I did this exercise many years ago.

By having the list and realizing what was most important to me AND breaking it down into manageable parts I have really accomplished the things closest to my heart.

The thing about a relationship is that I feel it should not change who you are or what you want to accomplish in your life unless having a relationship is your only goal in life. B/c suddenly that relationship could be gone and now you have accomplished nothing.

Same is true for a job, if you have a job and no personal life and you lose your job...what have you accomplished?

One last thought...
A completed education at an accredited university is, in my opinion, a gift to one's self. It will be there for you always in your life if it is a quality degree. Kind of a fall back. But if you are going to go and NOT finish, it is a total waste of time. You have to do it when you have the money, time, motivation, and perserverance. Also you only have so long to finish a degree - so you might as well choose the right time to start. Doesn't have to be this minute if you are not ready.

Just make a plan for your life. It can include education and a relationship if that is what you want.

How long is your course at uni? How long would you and your boyfriend have to be apart? Have you talked to him about what he thinks?
Let me say that I believe love should bring out the best in you. So, if this is your dream, I think you should pursue it. If he really wants the best of you he will support you through this transition. In the long run, you will be able to look back in your life and be proud of your accomplishments, and see that you lived a life pursuing your dreams. You're still young, I think you should go for it!

I am very old 55 and was a lawyer for 16 years. I put career first and made it. Then at 50 broke down and found marriage was sham and all fell apart. If you have a REALLLY GOOD relationship keep it. The rest of the crap people sell you is rubbish. Carpa Diem Seize the Day but happiness is what is imporant.