What is Breakups Divorce
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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So hurt, alone and confused
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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post as it seems mostly for people dealing with divorce, so I apologize if this is off topic.
Yesterday my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. For about a month I've felt, in my heart, that something wasn't right with him. We started to argue a lot (never had we argued before) and I asked him multiple times if things were ok with us, or if he was seeing someone else, and he kept assuring me that everything was fine and that he wasn't seeing anyone. Even though my heart was telling me otherwise, I kept trying to make "us" work and nothing was changing. Yesterday the feelings in my heart became reality and he left me, broke my heart. He said that in the past few weeks that he's felt more of a friend towards me than my partner and that he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to lose my friendship. He didn't even love me on our anniversary. :( After the break-up phone call I went to his place to bring him back his belongings and anything he's given me. I didn't feel right keeping it as it wasn't mine and wasn't heartfelt when he gave me the gifts. While I was at his house I asked him what it is that I did wrong to make him feel this change and he said that I did nothing wrong, that it's just something that overcame him. In that same breath he also stated that I was perfect for him and he didn't know why his mind was telling him to do this. After sitting there for a while, crying and not being able to look at him, he opened the door as a gesture for me to leave and then shut it behind me without saying goodbye. I'm so hurt, lonely, confused and broken and don't know what to do with myself. I love him so much and, although I have to, I can't see my life without him. I honestly thought that we would be getting married and having a family. I don't know who I am without him and can't remember who I was before I met him. How to I find myself again? How do I stop loving him? How do I stop wanting and missing him? I don't know if I can do this. :( Posted on 11/08/09, 07:11 pm |
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Time, I know I hated when people told me that but it is the truth. I was a mess for a yr after the breakup of my long marriage.
Good luck. 
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This is the right place. And you will go on. It's hard and scary and sometimes you can't
believe you're still breathing because it seems like anything that hurts that bad should kill you. The miracle is, it won't. Hang in there. You aren't alone.
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I'm sorry for your pain. We know that drill all too well and it is so sad to see someone going through this hurt. Here are the links that a fellow DS member, PGamble, put together. We all care. It's time roll up your sleeves and start taking those necessary steps before we MARCH MARCH MARCH. Do your part and we will walk beside you and you should seek counseling in addition to your daily strength. Godspeed.
http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakup... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://dailystrength.org/help/cris... http://www.hud.gov/homeless/index.cfm http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre... http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bre...
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it takes time to deal with the healing process. It could be hes telling you the truth about how you were good fir him, but he cant handle the relationship. Just because people break up doesnt mean there was anything wrong with you. It just wasnt something he could keep up with. Im sorry for your pain.
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Yes this is the right place... you will find comfort and encouragement. You are NOT ALONE... that's exactly what my ex did to me after 4+ years... allow yourself to cry and mourn the loss and don't feel stupid about it... I'm learning it's nature... I wish you happy healing and i'm there if you ever need to chat.
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Don't be surprised if there is someone else in his life. Many times guys will play the role that "you are too good for me" I am not worthy of you, you deserve someone better than me, etc.
They say this so they don't place the blame on you. This is their way of exalting you and abasing themselves even though, they have another plan waiting in wings. I don't say this to be cruel or unsympathetic. I say this to you so if later you find this out, that you are shocked and broken by it.
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Sigh...As the others have said, you are in the right place. This journey is not an easy one by any means. It is, however, a bit easier with the support and help/advice of others who can empathize with your pain. "welcome" Heather.
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You are in the right place, but sorry that you are here, but welcome and glad that you found us.
Take care...
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Thank you all for your support and the links included above. These two days have been the hardest days I've had in so long. My heart is aching like it never has and sometimes it feels as though I can't keep going. I just keep telling myself, over and over again that I can't believe that I was so stupid to allow myself to love and "be loved". I mean, how stupid can a person be to not wholly realize that a person isn't being true to you?
I just miss him so much and am so afraid that I've ruined this chance at love because of something I've done that I'm unaware of. I don't know, I find it hard to understand how you can love someone one minute and not the next, as I hold on to love. Like many of you said, time will heal but I don't know if I can wait for that time to come. *sigh*
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I'm sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. We will be here to listen when you vent, when you cry, and we will even make you laugh sometimes. Time makes it better. Big hugs!
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