What is Breakups Divorce
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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LADIES: Question for you...
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Hey Ladies:
I have a question for you. What is a visual struggle to you? What that means, is how much does looking at other woman bother you? What actions does your man have to do to piss you off or hurt you? Do you feel he is going to cheat on you if he stares to long, or muliple times? If he starts up conversations with these women, does that offend you? Why I am asking is this. I have a woman I was dating and gave her the best world she ever had. Treated her like a queen and took very great care of her. She been though so much pain with her past relationships that its makes sense to be very sensitive or weary of future relationships. Now what happens to me from her is her jeolousy thing. Its out of control. I get in trouble for everything from looking at a woman more than once, or if a beautiful woman walks in the room I get the "theres one for you" comments. I mean, it gets old and it got worse. That is why I am here. Help me understand what I am doing wrong and why is it the end of the world to see another woman. I notice them and then I am done, but no. She is not. I get the bible thrown at me and everything. I admit I am not perfect and I have struggles. But these attacks are from someone that has their own struggles and seems to be OK with them. She just loves to harp on me about this one thing. So sad that I have to end our relationship because I looked at another woman. I NEVER go up to them and talk with them. I don't have lustful desires in my heart. I just don't get it? Please fill me in with what you ladies think...be brutal if you have to!! Posted on 11/04/09, 02:11 pm |
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OH I forgot to add that several months ago I had to remove all my Ladies that were on my DS account because I was screwing all of you. Nice huh? This from someone that feels its OK to have men on hers. A lot of double standards in this relationship...lots. 
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Maybe she is insecure and feels as though you are shopping for the next one?
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sounds like some insecurity. I dont think this is a woman thing, I think its a person thing. I know men that are like this as well.
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Maybe because of my own insecurities I get offended if the guy I am with checks out other women while we are together. To me it is disrespectful. I like to think that when he is with me there is no need for his eyes to be wandering or staring at these other women in the room especially really checking them out. It makes me feel like I am just not good enough. Its not good for the self-esteem or confidence. If it happened multiple times yes I would be really upset.
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Stepdad - I read your post and read it again. My two cents - run, don't walk away, from her. It sounds like there is a little pathology (ok, more than a little) going on there. I can understand her maybe being a little upset if you start up a long conversation with another woman and ignore her, but that's not what you are talking about.
FYI - my husband had some bizarre fantasy that I had a bank account in the Caymans - I wish! He wouldn't let go of it either. Lynne
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Im sorry this is happening to you. Im sure everyone here has their own opinion on this..and you are asking, so I will give you mine :)
Im not a jealous kind of girl. This is a self esteem issue for your partner. I wouldnt get bent out of shape with my man for looking at a beautiful woman and hope he wouldnt get bent if I looked at a guy. Its about trust and knowing that looking and touching are NOT the same thing. Hell, I would even probably point out a beautiful woman for him :) Can we honestly say that we havent fantasized about another at some point in time? I doubt it. Let me clarify that looking and oogling are two very different matters. If Im confidant that he wants to be with me and only me..then no issue. If he has given me reason to believe otherwise, then yes, I may question the oogling..not looking. we arent dead yet..are we?
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Ok just got the second half of your post..I would not be offended by woman that were on my guy's account or that he talked to online or whatever. Women friends don't bother me but the checking women out when we are together really does.
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Some people are more insecure than other, it's just the way life is. I'm an East Coaster and we don't just look; we touch. Looking and drooling is disrespectful. It's not the worse thing in the world either. I can appreciate the beauty of another woman so why would I expect a man to not appreciate it as well. I wouldn't want someone who only looks at me. I don't want someone looking at me all of the time. Besides if I stop him from looking he has the right to stop me from looking and that would be out of the question.
It's obvious when I see a guy that I think is attractive because I get this stupid grin on my face...like a guy. There's a guywho sits in front of me in my marketing class and I smile from the moment he walks in the door. If someone passed the door and took a quick pic I would look so stupid in it.
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maybe she is insecure in your relationship im not saying you dont give it your everything but from her past experiences whatever they may be she might still have those fears ,shower her with compliments , tell her her hair looks great ,the meal she cooked was fantastic,house looks nice shes obviously worked hard to make it look nice , run her a bath and have warm towels waiting for her anything that makes her feel special , i never had problems with my hubby looking at other women because he always told me he had everything he needed right here in me but now after 23 years hes walked out and gone to his internet tart in greece although hes back in uk after only 3 weeks not sure why as yet but hes still in contact with her and i know shes expecting him back there but why would he be back after only 3 weeks if he was happy? but i wud be insecure now at him talking to other women but thats because of what hes done so maybe its her past still haunting her ,you need to reassure her its her you love and want and its natural to look at opposite sex
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Well, you know how I feel about this, Carl. It's the same issue coming up again and again. You've been in counseling with her about this and it still keeps happening. How often can you fight about and break up over the same thing? I think you need to take a break, a REAL break from each other. Oh and don't forget that she let you put me back on as a friend because I'm married and live 3000 miles away :)
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