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IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE R SOME PEOPLE HERE SAYING BAD THINGS TO OTHERS "HITTING ON THEM". I MYSELF HAVE EVEN BEEN ACCUSED OF IT OR AT LEAST ASKED IF I WAS HITTING ON THEM. I BELIEVE THAT GIVING SOMEONE A COMPLIMENT ON THEIR APPERENCE OR THE EYES OR THEIR SMILE IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE. I FEEL AS IF IT MAKES A PERSON FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEM SELVES. I LIVE IN THE SOUTH AND IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT WE ARE BACKWARDS IN THE WAY WE DO THINGS. I STILL BELIEVE THAT YOU TREAT A LADY LIKE A TREASURE. MAYBE I AM WRONG. IF SO I DON'T THINK I WILL CHANGE. I WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING OUT OF THE WAY TO ANYONE, BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT WHEN WE R IN THE SITUATION THAT WE R ALL IN, POSITIVE REMARKS WILL HELP US ALL GET BETTER FASTER, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY R COMING FROM "FRIENDS". IF I UPSET ANY ONE I'M SORRY. IF YOU DON'T WANT MY FRIEENDSHIP I WILL UNDERSTAND. SORRY I OFFENDED ANYONE AND NO HARD FELLINGS. WE HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN AND LAUGHS IN OUR LIVES. THANKS FOR READING!
Posted on 02/20/07, 03:31 pm |
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Dang, Justus, you sure seem cute to me!
People should lighten up...that's an important part of recovery. Spencer 
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Hey if you have something nice to say about someone go for it. Who would ever turn down a compliment? It's not like your saying "HEY BABY-YOUR PLACE OR MINE" Were on a divorce site! Not PORN R "US" You got to laugh at that "I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, "THAT'S SOME FUNNY SHIT"
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OH NO! CAN WE SAY SHIT HERE? HA HA HA HA tooo funnyyyyyyyyyyyy
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I am not from the south, however, I do live here now. I am a very oldfashioned, conseravative female. I would think that a compliment of how nice something is, eyes, smile, would be welcome as everyone has pointed out. If something was misunderstood, that's all it was - a misunderstanding. Life moves on.
I have seen alot of nice smile and like the way some of the guys express themselves, but being old fashioned, I am too shy to say anything, but I think they would like to know, it all boils down to self esteem. Just be yourself, Justus. One way or another, we are always misunderstood by someone, we can't make everybody happy, so make yourself happy.
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I totaly agree with you Justus 100%. Many here have been hurt deeply and can take things the wrong way. If you compliment someone on their smile, that is all that it is. I know I feel better when I get a compliment. This is aa support site and there are many forms of support that are not sexual or being hit on.
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I'm guilty of giving the compliments as well as receiving them. It makes me feel confident and I hope that it makes the other person realize that they are attractive despite the terrible rejection they've been through. I'm always careful about the wording to make sure there's not too much to read into it. When you post on an internet message board like this, you'd better expect the widest range of messages back. If you can't handle a complimentary email, then you may be a little too fragile to be posting like this and should maybe stick to a support system like divorcecare or family. For anyone else out there, feel free to send compliments because I love them and it makes me feel like I wasn't dumped on looks at least.
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Well gee, That's really interesting, justus. I've been freely running around the Board giving out hugs and kudos and "lookin' good"s wherever. It never occurred to me that anyone would construe anything other than moral support from them -- and I certainly love getting them. Though since my picture isn't up, no one can comment on my personal appearance, let me tell you, it's doing pretty good these days for a gal my age!
Just about everyone I have met here is beautiful to me, and I don't mind telling them so. If someone is hurting so bad that they feel that is a sexual advance or some form of hurtful sarcasm, I respectfully suggest that they could probably benefit from a RL therapist.
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I think a nice comment is a welcome sight after all that most of us are going through. Many of us have been at one of the lowest points in our adult lives and sometimes a nice comment can really brighten up the day. This place is about friendships and helping eachother get through tough times. I have appreciated all the great comments I have received and am grateful to have gotten them.
Mike
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i think if it makes one feel good or better or can lift someones spirit then do it!! i myself think its very nice and i love giving and receiving especially when im down or when im feeling good.isnt this what this site is all about? were all learning here about others and ourselves.... you be yourself.itll all be good...Janiece
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Keep the compliments coming PLEASE!! Its appreciated!
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