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Discussion:
Breakup: It's Over When It's Over
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I'm hoping for the best and hoping things change. However, we've only been together a month and the first two weeks were amazing, the past two weeks were somewhere between mediocre and what was I thinking. The relationship started really fast, and it's as much my fault as it is hers. I felt concerned about how quick she was pushing me and how frequent we were hanging out.

Right away she told me when she was 13 she was raped. A few days into our relationship she started saying she loves me and that I'm the best thing in her life. Shortly after that she wanted to make it "facebook official," then a few days after that she hid our relationship status. She then brought up the idea of moving in together. Then she told me she used to be a heroin addict and has been clean for 7 years. Then life happened and she found out her Dad has cancer, she was in an out of the hospital dealing with kidney stones, her cousin dies, her Dad got into a car accident. I was with her through all of that and she says I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had. However, with the kidney stones, I noticed she was abusing painkillers and going back frequently to get more. She's not on heroin but I can tell she has addiction issues. She's done some sketchy things that make me suspicious of if she's already cheated on me. Then she got upset when I asked her about it. Last night when I dropped her off she freaked out because she said she left her Facebook open and was really worried I was going to snoop. Then she called me to double check if she did or didn't leave herself logged in. I know she hasn't felt great with the kidney stones and all but they have passed and she's been cold to me for the past week and a half. I asked her what's up if there's someone else or what the deal is and she tells me she's Bi Polar.

She said when we met she was stable, she got so happy meeting someone like me that it sent her into a manic phase where she was overly happy, then when she got sick that sent her into a depression where she's been for the past week and a half. She's been a huge jerk to me, distant, and still wants to spend time together. So at this point I'm trying to learn as much as possible about her condition and decide if it is something I can support through the good and the bad.

All that aside, the main thing I'm worried about is that I don't think I trust her. I really want to but she's done a few strange things and then has gotten upset when I ask her about it. One of those times, either had to do with cheating or abusing pills. I'd be more willing to bet something was going on and she lied about it than believing the story she gave me.

So at this point is it just worth it to be done? I talked to a friend of mine who is a therapist and she said to just RUN and don't look back, she said go so far as to just stop answering her calls because the girl is insane. Part of me really cares about her. I feel bad about everything she's dealing with and I don't want to be just another guy who runs for the hills on her when he finds out she's got this much baggage. If I could trust she'd stay faithful and would treat me decent I would totally stay. However, in the Bi Polar thread some people have said that when they are manic, they'll cheat, lie, do anything without a shred of remorse until they crash.

Ultimately it's up to me but I'm looking for some insight because I'm so clouded and lost at this point. Please do keep in mind I'm frustrated and only telling you the negatives. Right away she was so affectionate, we got along great, our sex life was outstanding, I seriously thought after 2 weeks that I wanted to be with this girl 2 years from now.

If it is just time to be done, what is the best approach. Is it harsh to seriously just walk like my friend said to, or should I talk to her and see if any of this is salvagable.

Again, I'm lost so all I'm looking for is your opinions. I'm a nice, sweet, caring, guy who is a catch. I know I deserve better but I care for this woman and she's taken the time to want to get to know me and spend time with me.
Posted on 02/20/13, 05:49 pm
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Reply #31 - 05/29/13  6:46pm
" Heres my advide YES RUN now while the going's good and u get going !")
I can tell u from experaiance my 1st childs father now this is 17 yrs ago was an addict and this here recent one the reason I'm on here today was an addict, claimed he was off but im too smart for some things ")
I'm not one to judge I've had issues with alcohol in my own life.... but I will tell u it won't get better unless they are absolutley clean and dry off drugs!!! And the bipoler don't help either ! My here recent ex took what as he called chill pills to calm down but could he switch the Dr Jeckell and mr Hyde in a min!... and when doing so watch out let me tell ya

Another sign to look for if she was a herion additt does she go to pain clinc for methadone or do methadone? It's what herion addicts take to come off herion.
Good luck to u but please run ! A month of only being with her would be so easy to get away from instead of looking back yrs from now wishing u had of ran cause u wasted youre time!....Addicts sometimes like to play the whoo is me game to get symphathy dont fall for it! Get on and get on quickly ! (hugs) "

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