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Feeling a little hateful
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So I was wondering, Even though I still have a deep affection for my stbx ( she wanted me out and wanted a divorce) I am starting to feel just a bit of hate towards her. For Moving on so fast, for Putting our kids in the position they are in, for giving up on us.
It is normal? Should I feel bad ? I don't want to hate her, I just feel angry thinking about the way things went down. I feel like I never really had a chance.. She quit and it hurts our whole family and IDK maybe just because of all the hurt it's turning to anger? Posted on 08/20/12, 11:32 pm |
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I think some anger is normal when we've been f-ed over by those we loved.
I know I feel anger towards my exH for being such a pr*ck... for deciding himself that he was pullng away and not talking to me about it. "... I just feel angry thinking about the way things went down. I feel like I never really had a chance.. " Yup. That's how I feel. It bites. And I think that when the strong part of the grief has lessened, the anger starts peeking in. It's part of healing... I hope. 
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Wow must be in the air ...I woke up this morning just pissed that he just gave up on us...I didn't have a say or a chance...I'm angry as Hell....but I love him still..
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Yeah, I'm in the angry/hate realm myslef. My counsellor says its healthy to wallow in your emotions in these early days - feel what you feel so ten years later you don't still have this walled up emotional blockage inside. As long as you're not putting her down in front of the kids or contemplating violence, I think its all healthy. Chances are you'll eventually come out on the other side to some sort of middle ground about her.
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It seems that once the initial shock wears off, we start to feel some righteous indignation. That can be a positive thing as long as we don't let it get out of hand. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry about the situation, just be careful how you deal with those feelings. Know that it's perfectly NORMAL and just another stage in the grief process.
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thanks for the comments. I guess it is kind of normal. It is better than the debilitating anxiety attacks I was having... I felt like I might die some times.. I guess it is getting better..
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