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Learn how straightening up can ease your pain
Chronic pain management tips
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crying and miserable
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I feel stupid for putting up with you for five years, the tears, the public fights, the police being involved, the blood on your knuckles after punching the walls, my broken phones and belongings you chose to destroy, the look on your face when you held me down and choked me, the lie you held for ten months, the girls you flirted with behind my back, spending hours on the phone with them while i was on the other line trying to get in touch with you, the loyalty to your friends and not me, the way you used me to give you money, food, weed, the way you embarrased me infront of everyone whenever you blacked out, the demeaning names you called me, you beleiving the rumours and not me, the punch to my nose, the bruises on my legs which you shrugged at and looked at when i showed you the pictures. and i was naive for falling for your manipulation each and every time. and i sit here crying on a self-help website. and i sit here depressed day by day. and i sit here crying myself to sleep, the sleepless nights, the heavy feeling of pain i feel in my chest. People tell me to "hang in there" but how? how when im the loneliest being on earth. how when i have no friends who would understand. how when the one i thought loved me was quick to leave me hanging. how when i dont have a job so its all i think about. how when i know ill NEVER be happy EVER AGAIN. i turned into a young college student who had everything going for her into a college graduate LOSER. who thought love was everything but all it gave me was SORROW and me HATING LIFE AND MYSELF.
-MISERY Posted on 08/16/12, 08:51 pm |
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As painful as going through these feelings is, these are the steps we all have had to take. There was sorrow, fear and lots of anxiety as I took those steps. I never thought I would be able to make it but I can tell you with certainty this will pass. Do everything to support that healing. Keep going. 
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You have to really think about changing how you view your life and the words you use to describe your life.
For example, you say that you will never be happy ever again. When you say negative things about yourself, you begin to believe it. Change your language and your perception will change. You are not a loser, you will be happy again, and you must love yourself. If you are not in counseling, please consider it. You would especially benefit from talking to someone from a domestic violence shelter. I'm sorry you're hurting. Sending healing hugs!
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How do you hang in there? You go thru the days, you breathe.... in and out. What you had was not love.... true love does not inflict the physical pain you describe. It will get better... it sounds impossible I know, but it really does get better.
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we have all been where you are at right now. We all believed that it would never get better, we all have cried and thought that we were not good people, but we have all gotten through it and so will you. Keep venting on here, vent in your journal, cry all you want, and yes, seek therapy. It will help you.
if the relationship is meant to be, then it will be. Some of the worst relationships have survived and turned out to be stronger, while some have just diminished. Time will tell. You will wake up one day and start focusing on being happy again. just be patient and as the others say, dont think negative, think positive! stay strong for yourself! sending a million hugs to you!
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aww thank you so much guys, that was really helpful and i deepy truly appreciate each and every one of your support, I just need to continue working on not focusing on him and worrying about him and focus more on me again, something i lost during the years being with him.. i actually went out tonight with my friend and boy did i have a blast! i almost forgot how two days ago it felt like my whole world ended. It felt good to laugh, eat great food, listen to good music, and heck, even felt good to get a little drunk. I really needed that! I WILL regain myself again!!!! "
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Remember the next time you tell yourself that you'll never be happy again that you totally lied on yourself. You went out and had a great time and discovered that you have people in your life who care about and even got a little tipsy. Tonight showed you that life is not quite so horrible after all. Keep nurturing yourself and being good to yourself.
You will find a job all in good time. Use this time to heal. You've been through a lot and are still here. That tells me that you are a survivor, not a loser. So, the next ime you are feeling really low, just remember that they are just feelings. They are not who you are and they can and do pass. I'm so glad you had a good time. You will have more of them.
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The best is yet to come. With this in mind, put on your makeup, dress your best smile, open that door and have a wonderful life!
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thanks guys!
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