Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Hi all...new here
My spouse and I have done this same dance ever since we met. Things don't go well (arguments and such) and then she will leave or threaten to leave and then I beg her to come back or if I stay away, she gets back with me and I 'cave' on all the stuff. Each time she threatens to leave the threat is increased. This time it was her feeling rejected by me. I am having flashbacks (lots of abuse stuff,sexual,physical,emotional) from my past. Have worked on the physical and emotional stuff but 4 months ago joined a Coda group and as I stirred up a lot of stuff, seems I also stirred up some past sexual abuse. I find I don't trust her not to leave. And that is interfering with intimacy (lovemaking). She stormed out after me refusing to make love one morning. Was having a small flashback and tried to tell her all I wanted was to be held. Nope, it was all my fault...I was rejecting her. I know she is scared of the changes in me....I'm more open to discuss things, won't take much crap anymore and am actually feeling more peaceful (I am not reacting to her reacting like I used to). She is away right now for a week and has said that when she gets back we will discuss about selling the house,etc. It may be just another threat and if it is I'm getting pretty tired of them. I do believe she is serious this time at least for now. I would love some comments/feedback on this.
Thank you all for listening
Posted on 08/03/12, 08:59 pm
Posted on 08/03/12, 09:08 pm