Advertisement
Do you suffer from chronic pain?
Learn how straightening up can ease your pain
Chronic pain management tips
Learn how straightening up can ease your pain
Chronic pain management tips
More DailyStrength
|
regrets, shame, guilt, pain...
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
it's coming up to a year where I found out my stbx had 'feelings' for another woman who he was having an affair with.. that old adage that he loved me but was no longer in love with me
4 months after our spilt they move in together... I feel extreme anger at this - he told me he wanted a quite life living on his own.. why I expected honesty I don't know.... bcs I'm such a fool really.. she has 3 young kids so I don't think quiet quite comes into it about a week ago I was feeling better.... had thought about and come to some level of acceptance of what had happened... the possible roles I had played.. and how I could learn from it the last few days have been hell... I have been reading posts about being betrayed and NC (I have not seen him in months.. and only then was it to drop off my things)... still loving him, etc I feel shame that my marriage didn't work and I was not good enough for him in the end... I have so many regrets which just bring on guilt.... 15 years together and he moves on so quickly (he must have checked out of the relationship for a while I know... I just wish he could have been more honest at the time) back to feeling utterly gutted.... 3 steps forward 2 steps back I think... it just feels so god damn raw again :( Posted on 07/21/12, 04:13 pm |
| 19 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I honestly can not imagine your pain and 15 years is a long time.... a break up is always hard but for them just to move on like that is heart wrenching! I am unsure about you but even through a break up I just need a break emotionally I could not even just be with someone else. I am so sorry for your pain and hope it gets better. 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
thank you serenity... some times I just ruminate and obsess about them it's torture (and why am I doing that to myself???)
I don't think I will ever date again... I'm 42 now so it's not like I will have many opportunities got to take it a day at a time I suppose
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
it's time to let your anger surface, ruby. your husband was supposed to be focused on husband things. he was not supposed to be letting his eye wander and to entertain thoughts of pursuing other women.
he is the one who should feel badly - not you. push those bad feelings away from you. you are still a good woman who deserves a man who actually WANTS to be a good husband. you do not have to feel bad any more. you did your part. be proud of that. :)
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
thanks faithful... I just don't know how to push the feelings away atm.... weekends are always hard for me so I'm hoping that by tomorrow night I will feel a little better
I am keeping a lid on these feelings (starting to work through my feelings in therapy)... it's the anger that scares / worries me the most.... I know I should journal bcs getting it down on paper - all that venom - can sometimes help... I think tonight I just need some human contact even the cyber kind
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
About the age thing...
42 years is not old by any means. When you feel up to dating again, you will find that there are lots of men who you may find a mutual attraction with. Hang in there, you'll be fine.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
thanks lance... I feel like 102 atm
my stbx came with a lot of baggage and I don't think I could go through all that again
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I am right there with you ruby.. Mine has moved on emotionally after a 2 month separation. I feel the same like I was just never good enough, I was doing ok till I found out she is in contact with an ex bf..
I can only imagine what comes next and not sure I can deal with it at all..I guess till then I had just a little hope. Hopes dashed, my dream shattered I will never be what she wants and I have to deal with it and be the best dad I can be. Hoping you find your peace in all this ,, I'm told it gets better.. I will let you know. Peace
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I have those feelings too , I just had my 16 th wedding anniversary.
I am ashamed that my marriage didn't work, and I know that's my problem but don't know how to get over it. The father if my children seemed to pack his stuff and move instantly into his own new life while I was left with pieces of mine. I have come to realize that like your husband he checked out long before he bothered to let me know. If I am one year into recovery he is already two or three who knows when he checked out. I also know that for some reason when he has kids he is in dad mode, but during the 12 days he's not with them they are not even on his radar. Part of the grieving and healing is this 3 steps forward 2 back. It takes a long to heal from this. When you sit and look back or read old journals you will be able to see the ways you've moved on. Take joy in the strides you've made , you are moving forward you're just taking the long way
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
i understand how you feel... i was with the same woman for 28 years , and am still struggling to come to terms with what is now my ex wife did to me (running of with another man) ...... i hope the pain you are in from how you have been treated subsides very quickly and that you can find happiness again in your life .... andrew
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
thanks guys.... I'm now having issues with anger and rage.. feels like the whole bloody gamut of emotions one after the other
I'm going to hang tight and keep reaching out x
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
Advertisement
More From Around the Web
