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Discussion:
he left me pregnant!!!
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First off I am 19 and already have an amazing 2 year old boy. To make my story short, I have known my now ex fiance for 8 years we have dates the past three off and on, well shortly after he popped the question we found out I was pregnant with my second baby his first. My son has always looked at him and called him daddy. Anyhow s few weeks after finding out I was pregnant my best from middle school had come back into town, well me and her stopped talking much when she slept with my sons biofather, well she knew about the baby and my engagement, she was friends with my fiance as well. Anyhow a few weeks ago she invited him to go Golfing, at 7:30 til about noon. Which I figured was fine, he didn't come home til 10 that night and when he did decided he wasn't ready to settle down and has been very unhappy for a long time now, but just two days earlier was telling me how happy he is to have me and our kids his life... And now I am living back at home with my parents and pregnant and so alone, while he is out partying it up, and he tells me he wants to work on things and its everything I wanna hear but everytime I let my guard back down towards him he completely forgets about the baby and my son. He acts like we don't mean anything to him. I'm so tired of hurting and wanting him, I love him so much he was my best friend and the only dad my son has ever had. What do I do how do I keep him out of my world when I bare his child, and if we work how do I know he won't do this again when he deploys??? I'm so lost and trying to not stress for my babys sake, but its so hard being young and so alone!!!
Posted on 06/26/12, 02:56 pm
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Reply #1 - 06/26/12  4:00pm
" Sounds like he got cold feet.

Also sound like you need new friends.

You should focus on a life without a man in it. Otherwise you will just repeat this cycle over and over. You and your children deserve a better life. You cannot depend upon someone else to do that for you. Good luck "
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Reply #2 - 06/26/12  4:16pm
" I feel bad for you because your life sounds like a soap opera. The first thing that you need to do is come to grips with what your real feelings are for this man. "Love" I doubt it. I don't see how anyone can love a person who treats them so badly. I agree with everything misred had to say. "
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Reply #3 - 06/26/12  5:07pm
" Have you talked with him about what went on the day he went golfing? Seems rather odd that all was fine until then and suddenly it's a complete turn around on his part.
It doesn't sound like you will be able to rely on him in the future though. Time to start making plans for yourself and your children, what are you planning to do about the baby? Do you want to be raising two children alone? Is he going to be an active part of his child's life? What about child support? It's time you made some more positive decisions in your life, you owe it not only to yourself but to the children you keep making. "
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Reply #4 - 06/26/12  5:32pm
" No he refuses to talk about anything anymore that's important not even the baby really the only time he talks to me when he is yelling at me telling me he gets to name it if its a boy. I am keeping the baby and have a job, and just applied for an apartment again. And he says he will be there but not while I'm pregnant just after, and is that really fair? I will be getting child support, I'm not 100% alone I have lots of family support and his mother is the only one there, i think I have finally decided that I don't need him, and my babies deserve so much better, and I don't need a man in my life to raise them:) "
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Reply #5 - 06/26/12  5:42pm
" He sounds very immature. A real man would support you DURING the pregnancy.

You are wise to move on with your life. And you are right--you need to learn how to live a life without a man in it. After your child is born, look into programs to get an education and training so you can support yourself and your kids. There are lots of programs out there that will provide all sorts of support and financial aid for single moms.

Best of luck with your pregnancy. "
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Reply #6 - 06/26/12  5:50pm
" You have amazing strength for a 19 year old!!! I wish you all the best! And I hope you are strong enough to move past this guy, he's not worth it. If you guys can get along for the baby and co-parent together, I think you'll be just fine! Good luck! "
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Reply #7 - 06/26/12  5:56pm
" I start school august 1st. So I am going for my education so my babies have one amazing life:) thank you for all your answers:) "
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Reply #8 - 06/26/12  6:06pm
" As a mother of three and grandmother, it is my hope you find happiness and stability for your children and yourself.

Unfortunately, history has shown you you cannot count on the fathers to be there for you, or even more importantly, for the well-being of their offspring. With this in mind, it is also my hope that prior to adding any more dear babies to your growing family that you make certain you can provide emotionally and financially for each of you. You have taken on quite a bit for someone of such youth.

I wish you and your children nothing but the best. "
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Reply #9 - 06/26/12  6:44pm
" Im so glad to hear you are enrolled in school. Raising children is difficult even when two parents are in the home. Your strength and resolve will help you persevere.

You wrote something that struck me as odd. You said he said he won't live with you while you are pregnant but after the baby he will. sound to me like he just wants to avoid the hard stuff and take the easy. Sounds like someone we call a "cake eater." I'm sorry, but if a man won't stick to you through thick or thin.....then he's not a man I want around. phooey on that! "

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