Breakups & Divorce Support Group

I spent many years alone and that was just how it was then I met my ex and we lived together for almost 10 years....then we separated and I feel lonely at times.

Most of us just get use to having another person there even if it isnt great they are there.....Its different for everyone but for me and I have 3 active kids to keep me busy but at night when everyone is asleep I feel lonely. Most around me dont understand so it would help if I actually had a support system.

evolution
nature

there are books written about this. the perception of loneliness versus aloneness is subjective. it is a choice to feel miserable or content depending on how we look at it.

I agree with faithful. Doesn't mean it's easy to do but you have to do it. It is a choice. You are responsible for your own happiness. Only you. If you can't be happy by yourself you can't be happy with someone else. You may think you are but it is an illusion. Doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't feel loneliness. And when you do, do something about it. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Act.

Ditto to previous comments. We are social creatures. Social, being the operative word. Some of us (me specifically), some how learned that to not be lonely, we need to get married or have a significant other.

I have been separated for six months after tossing my wife out of the house due to her promiscuity, mental illness and alcoholism. It has been a long and hard six months, but I am getting to a place now where i realize what I want in life and what makes me happy.

I was under the misconception that I needed a partner to be happy. After reflection and counseling, I have found that I need appreciation and feeling appreciated to be happy. Once I realized that, I started missing her much less and realized that for a lot of years I wasn't happy because I wasn't appreciated. I am now getting to the point where I am realizing how wonderful the world is and that there are SOOOO many things in life to do and try.

We need to evaluate ourselves and figure out what EXACTLY makes us happy and I was quite surprised to find out, ( in my case) what i thought I wanted wasn't what I really needed.

This is a time when we need some introspection and figure ourselves out and find out who we really are. If you successfully figure out what you want and who you are, you will find that you are not "lonely" at all. Just that you haven't been getting something you needed and never realized it.

If I had to list things I have figured out and realized in the past six months, it would rival things I have known (or thought i did) throughout my 43 years on this Earth.

Sometimes I am saddened that it took me so long to figure things out (and are still figuring out), but then i realize that I am not dead yet and still young enough to make a new go of things.

The only time it is too late is when you are dead.

Because we were not created to be alone. Even though you were born alone it took two people (hopefully in love) to create you. After God made Adam he saw he needed a companion even though there were lots of animals on the earth.

#5 Sounds like the journey I am just starting on.. I am beginning to see that there are things I haven't been getting that I need, just beginning to figure out what those things are..One thing I notice is that even though I am an emotional wreck some of the time, just not being around the negative energy has freed my mind a lot, like a burden was lifted.
I'm still holding on to the tiniest hope of reconciliation, But I know that if there is one, I will still need to take care of my self and be happy in who I am....
So grateful for the support I have already received here on DS....

SDude, if you are free of the negative energy as much as I relieved myself of, in a few months you will wonder why you ever considered reconciliation, in the first place. ;)

Just keep at it.

Why do people need cigarettes? They weren't born with it.