Breakups & Divorce Support Group

I think love is something true that grows between two people and can't be tossed overnight. If you truly love someone you won't be able to just move on. I think some people get true love confused with butterflies in your stomach. Butterflies die Love grows!

He's a fool if he thinks he'll stay in that feeling of love forever that he had at 20. Love is doing it even when you don't feel like it. Just about everyone will be there as long as it feels good. How will they act when it doesn't? I love my kids dearly, but there are days when I feel like killing them. I don't. And I clean up their messes and disappline them even though it doesn't give me that good feeling. And that's love.

Love is the hardest thing in the world. Love is learning how to be selfless and how to sacrifice of yourself in the hopes that it will be reciprocated. It's worrying when your wife takes two hours extra to do what she said and so you wonder if she got in a car accident. It's worrying about what your kids have while you wait for the results. It's something that you have work at and tend constantly, something that you can never take for granted. Love is feeling bad when you fail and worrying about being able to do right by the ones you love. But above all else, above every hard thing that love is it is also the most giving thing on the earth. I believe that Love is the most powerful force on earth and I always have. Without love and the possibility of love what would people continue for? Louis Armstrong said it well enough "If lots more people loved one another we'd solve lots more problems."

The initial chemistry created in our brains during those intense feelings of love and infatuation that occur in the first years of the relationship will always change. This happens because the flow of time changes our bodies and the world we live-in from moment-to-moment, and thus our bodies go with the flow. The key is this: we ae supposed to use our superior intellect and consciousness to correct our thoughts of impulsiveness, infidelity, and philandering. Well adjusted and mature adults are supposed to deal with these feelings of waning love for their significant other, and NOT act on the childish whims of breaking hearts, vows, and marriage contracts, by being unfaithful. But so many of us just follow our lust, and throw caution to the wind, and fall into a pattern of sin, greed, desire and lust. Why? Because this is the challenge for every human on this planet. To be tested in every way to see what we are made of, and how emotionally intelligent we are. Some of us fail miserably and so we come here to find the answers. The simple answer is that we as humans are flawed and these flaws become evident after we have fallen in love and become vulnerable. This is the price we pay for becoming attached to people and things.

This shit pisses me off-LOVE CHANGES-do you think my grandparents had the same type of love they had in the beginnning fifty years later-My X runs from from realtionship to relationship because as soon as the "fantasy" phase wears off-he is relentless in his control,critisizm, and manipulation-until the one he is with cracks-like I did-I remember listening to his bullshit lines-"you are the one" or "when you know-you know"Total horeshit- I found the letters he said the same things to the other girls he dated-I mean two LTR"S since he left me-we are not even divorced yet-He was not the same man I fell in love with in the beginning-but I still loved him-Love grows and changes-If you truly love someone you just don't "move on" I guess that is why I am here and he was using my bank card to go on match.com two weeks after he left me.

I believe love is a choice AND an action verb. It is like a garden, if each spouse doesn't proactively nurture & tend to it, it will die. One person, alone, cannot make a marriage work. And we cannot make another happy - happiness comes from within - again a choice. No one can fill the holes in the other person. "You complete me" is a romantic crock. JMHO

Mine keeps saying he "doesn't know what love is"... although he referred to his OW as the "love of my life"... ouch!!!

I think that is BS... love is so different for everyone, how can you define it... the 'falling in love' certianly does not feel the same as the 'being in love' part... I think he is looking for the falling part, because it is exciting, and new, and the adreneline gets pumping, etc.

Personally I think love is caring about them, wanted to be with them, concerned about them, etc. which is why I think I will always love my X on some level...

Not an original thought, but I like it:

"Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being "drawn toward." Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies.

Love creates righteousness, or justice, here on earth. To make love is to make justice. As advocates and activists for justice know, loving involves struggle, resistance, risk. People working today on behalf of women, blacks, lesbians and gay men, the aging, the poor in this country and elsewhere know that making justice is not a warm, fuzzy experience. I think also that sexual lovers and good friends know that the most compelling relationships demand hard work, patience, and a willingness to endure tensions and anxiety in creating mutually empowering bonds.

For this reason loving involves commitment. We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called "love." Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity -- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh."
~ Carter Heyward in Passion for Justice

Love is love. Don't confuse love with being able to stay with somebody that you just don't care to be with any longer. I still love my wife. And I'm sure she still loves me. Just not the type of love, on her part, that was capable of keeping us together. "What's Love Got To Do With It"? (Tina) It's really more about respect, trust & commitment. If you really can’t bring yourself to stay or maintain a positive relationship with another person, for the sake of yourself or others, it just doesn’t matter how much you may love them. The horse may be thirsty, and he may love water, BUT!

When I found out my X had someone two weeks after he left me-I was devastated-His response was well I want you to find someone as well-You want someone to screw the woman that was your wife up until two week before-THAT IS NOT LOVE-I loved him still-but i did not want to be with him-but it still hurt.