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Discussion:
where do I begin
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I read many posts here to learn and hopefully I can apply to my situation. But, right now I don't have a clear head at all to think through this. Here it is: I have been married for 10 yrs, no kids. I was blindsided by my wife when I told me that she wants to move on, she does not love me anymore, she wants to date, and she told me that I did not do anything wrong, She said that I took good care of her so it makes it hard for her to tell me but that what she wants. Then, I later found out that she visited and signed an agreement with a divorce lawyer office before she told me about this terrible news. She did not know that I found out about the lawyer thought. Then, most weekends now she spent time away from home. I asked her are you with someone? she did not answer yes or no. All, she said was she wants to date.. I can feel my heart pounding and so painful. We still live in same house but at each end of the house since we have 4 bedrooms. It is so painful to see her but unable to talk to her, I try and try and tell her over and over pls do not close off, pls talk to me...I told her that we are both vulnerable right now, pls take it slow and pls do commit any adultery act....She dis not say anything...

Just like this weekend, she is out again and I find the itinerary that she is with someone name Julian on this trip with one confirmation at one hotel. I could not even breathe when i saw the itinerary that they have a rendez-vous together. Last month, she went away back to back 2 weekends also. I asked her who was she with and she aid friends...

I am heartbroken, lonely, depress. I love her and I just cannot let her go even thought I know that this is not good and it is killing me.

I am now wondering when her lawyer will drop the divorce paper to me.

I beg her to think about this and let work it out...she know that I love her ...

I am afraid to know the truth since it is so painful and not the way I picture....

sorry that I am rambling,,,, I have so many things in my head right now. I cannot eat , sleep,....etc...when people see me they told me that I look sad. Nobody knows about my situation..

i want to save the marriage....
Posted on 04/13/12, 06:01 pm
34 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Reply
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Comment:
Email me when others reply to this topic help
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Reply #11 - 04/14/12  3:34pm
" Personaly I would nt contact her sister you said your self blood is thicker than water , but then depending on their relationship I would steer clear

Blood bring thicker than water your brother is a good call family will be supportive and understandung "
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Reply #12 - 04/14/12  6:24pm
" called my bro, left msg, hopefully he will call back....I need to get things out of my chest... "
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Reply #13 - 04/14/12  8:15pm
" That's good I am sure he will call back it is the first small step
Getting things off your chest will help maybe not make things better
But it will help ,

I hope your brother will offer support I am sure he will and maybe let your folks know they can offer you support

I bet it feels like your alone and know one understands
But don't hold it in that will destroy you in time

Think about some counciling or therapists and see your doctor
As I am sure anxieties and depression ate high right now and
Meds will help balance you out a bit

This is what I have done not that it helps really maybe still to soon
But u pass it on as it OS all I can do and offer to listen and help best
I can

If you want msg me private if you feel need I will reply
I am not to dis similar to you my friend your not alone "
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Reply #14 - 04/15/12  5:44am
" Did your brother reply ? "
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Reply #15 - 04/15/12  5:57am
" Brother called so late last night, I missed his call, got the voicemail, will try again today. Tough to keep in touch since we live far away nd he has his own problem.. "
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Reply #16 - 04/15/12  7:42am
" At least he has called back that's a good thing

What about anyone close to you friends other family
Members at all ? "
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Reply #17 - 04/15/12  8:14am
" No, I don't have many friends, have colleagues but I cannot talk to them about this since we only know from work and don't hang out after work. I am a private person and I used to move a lot so not easy to establish root. She was my friend but now cannot talk to her. I know that I am in a tough spot. I look for support group from my health insurance I did c much... "
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Reply #18 - 04/15/12  9:07am
" Man I feel for you and understand is not something you would want
To.air outside a close relationship I,know where your coming from

At least you are doing something positive working in the right direction "
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Reply #19 - 04/15/12  3:45pm
" Good advice given.

So sorry to hear what you are going through, and exp at this time.
Support is so good to have. I only told a few ppl, and gathered a lot of support from here. It helped a lot.

Stay strong!!! xoxo "
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Reply #20 - 04/15/12  4:26pm
" Talked to my brother for 2 hrs. It helped to get things out of my chest. It helped that he told me that what and how I say now us logic, reasoning, justify, why....will not work. He suggested I get a lawyer for consultation to prepare for her lawyer when they deliver the news. This way at least I have the financial concern take care of so u can focus on myself( health) and then my job. He said that will reduce the problems since right now I have too many at one time as and I am overwhelming so I stress out. He suggest don't bother her, let she does what she want. He said the more I try to talk to her the more she will run away. ..... "

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