Breakups & Divorce Support Group

How bout counseling first.

I asked him a couple of times and he said he does not want marriage counseling right now. He did start going by himself last night.

*shaking head* You rub his feet EVERY night?

The way you word things, like "he informed you"...girl, if I'm rubbing his feet every night, I'd better get a thank you or I love you! Sounds like you are burning candles at both ends and not being appreciated for what you do. He's feeling the same way though, I think. For him not to at least TRY counseling together seems strange to me....

What about separate counseling and then try joint counseling in a few weeks or so?

I think this was me two years agao. It's almost the exact same words even. How he is the martyr and he did everything for me and he just isn't happy... Turned out he had begun to see an ex HS girlfriend. Please be careful and please bemindful. Keep your eyes wide open. I really don't want it to be true for you but I also dont want you to be played a fool like I was. I did not find out about his affair until 10 months later after I had changed everything. Did everything within my power to fix everything he claimed was wrong. None of it was good enough. Only after I had moved out because I couldnt think of anything else I could do to change things did I find all the evidence.

I am so sorry for your pain. There are many many of us here who have similar stories with similar feelings thoughts and experiences.

I wish you hope and love.

Mine wasn't happy either... I started counseling, trying to fix it but also preparing in case it wouldn't. He didn't make a move my way and asked for a divorce. Now my focus is in my own happiness... My point is while he figures out what he wants, you have to work on yourself...

i am guessing he is not happy in general and there is an underlyin issue within him and you just might have happened grouped within it all and now hit by the shrapnel..

Counseling sounds good and if you feel he is accepting of it, maybe you can suggest it for him by hisself and then together if it needs to be. If he isn't open for it, maybe you two can start off by talking about his job and what he is not happy with there.

I think many times, it can bring two people closer if they feel they can go to each other to talk about anything instead of taking things out on each other cus the lines don't appear to be open.

Why is it up to him?
Fine, he's not happy. that's not your problem. And stop the rubbing feet thing. You aren't his maid.
Perhaps you need to get "your own life." I don't mean that to sound harsh, but build your own support system. Make yourself happy.
There's something more going on with him and this is only the beginning. prepare yourself.

i imagine you dont argue because your just wanting to please and never put a foot wrong, tell him to rub your feet for a change, it isnt clear why he isnt happy!!!! and he went to councilling...oh i must be so mistrusting, could he be having an affair?

If he is going to counseling (even by himself) that is good.

Maybe you should go to counseling by yourself as well. I have found that having another person to listen is helpful.

If you truly love this man, give him some space and some time. It sounds like you have been catering to him, and maybe he should realize what he is losing if you aren't there to meet his needs. Use this time to find friends and family to provide support to you.