Breakups & Divorce Support Group

What is Divorce?

Divorce is the termination of a marriage in which both spouses are still living. In the Unites States, there are two types of divorce: "no fault" and "at-fault." Under the former, the spouse who initiates the divorce does not have to show that the other did anything wrong or breached any marital vows. Although a no-fault divorce is available in all states, many require a waiting period. An at-fault divorce allows for an immediate ending of the marriage, but requires that one spouse prove the other was "at fault". This usually means that the spouse inflicted emotional or physical pain, committed adultery, deserted the marriage for a certain period, or was sent to prison. Of these, the first reason (cruelty) is the most common grounds for a fault divorce, with adultery being second. Tension with extended family is the third most common cause for divorce, although this is not legal grounds for a fault.

Brief History of Divorce

Like marriage, the roots of divorce extend back thousands of years with periods of varying cultural support and disapproval. Ancient Greeks allowed it liberally, Romans heavily discouraged it at first and later allowed divorce at will. In the tenth century divorce was largely prohibited by the Church, although couples frequently separated. Later, civil courts oversaw marriage and divorce but retained very stringent requirements. During the Victorian period, divorce rates skyrocketed as men and women were freed from arduous work days and actually spent more leisure time together. In the early 20th century, grounds for divorce centered around the husband's inability to support his wife and family. In the second half of the century, marriage became more about personal happiness and fulfillment for both spouses, and divorce rates increased significantly.

How to Recover from Divorce

According to DailyStrength members, two factors are most helpful in recovering from divorce: support groups and support from family and friends. They also cite psychotherapy, talking, reading, and music as very helpful activities in starting over. In DailyStrength's divorce support group, you can interact with others by chatting, posting questions and answers to the divorce forum, and reading about how others have successfully moved on after a divorce. Other resources include:

• Wikipedia's divorce page
• Nolo's Divorce and Child Custody Information page
• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy