Breakups & Divorce Support Group

{{HUGS}} for this! I was thinking the same thing until this morning when it dawned on me....

The other day, I was on Facebook talking to a friend, and I realized how BITTER I still was with regards to my X. My way of dealing with that is to be sarcastic. In that discussion, I was awful. :{

And as I read some of the comments on the discussions here, I too felt like some were out of line, a bit offensive. And that's when I understood. He too is bitter, sarcastic, in pain. Will it go away for him? Maybe. Does he deserve support? Absolutely.

If you find the person's responses too painful to handle, you can minimize it - write your thoughts as a journal instead of the discussion, let your friends respond. It works!

{{HUGS}}

The problem I see is that the 'rules of the road' are not followed by all. Once you are in, it's relatively easy to 'ignore' a member. But for newcomers, or people who are in deep trouble it is far easier just to abandon this group. In turn, by failing to follow the rules, we may be denying many the support/advice/opinion/venue they are seeking and deserve.

Perhaps if we all read the reminder before we added our comments.

Reminder: This is a support group for Breakups & Divorce. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

agreed

Chi Town Bear is one of the community leaders on the BU/D board. You can message him and discuss your concerns. I did this the other day when I found a poster's comments to be rude and inconsiderate.

You can also report abuse on the site too.

I generally try to follow the "rules of the road", but sometimes people get under my skin. Usually I'll ignore them mentally, moving to actually using the ignore function on here if they p*ss me off enough (which hasn't happened very often), but sometimes I type without thinking, which is bad.
It would be nice if there was a way in which we could delete our own posts (and only our own) if we type too quickly... but then it might make people think less before posting, which would be a bad thing.
BTW--glad you stayed, and I hope the site helps you in your healing process.

As someone who went more than 4 years on DS problem-free, and managed/learned through all kinds of different experiences on this board, and then finally recently got suspended for nothing other than the perceived slight of an individual controlling poster with multiple profiles, I want to voice a point of view that consists primarily of the following: best to simply live and let live on this board, ignore those you find offensive. There are a couple of folks who I find offensive - oh, well - I will not take away whatever their support is that they get from this website because I am individually offended - having experienced the loss of my friends during my suspension, when I had done NOTHING "wrong", I feel like it is better to simply ignore that which you find offensive - the control feature exercised by some on DS, and exercised quite effectively, is just way too dangerous.

Tis more dangerous to be censored by a very few, or censored by one, than to offend the majority.

just reading ...

also, my inbox is open to anyone who chooses to use it.