What is Brain Injury
Traumatic brain injury (TBI), traumatic injuries to the brain, also called intracranial injury, or simply head injury, occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can resu...
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I guess I just need to vent, have someone hear me
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Daughters accident was May7/09 She is getting therapy etc. Still has no memories of past or present. I'm the only one in family that has been there every day for her because I think she needs to know she is loved etc. She is an alcoholic and has done some pretty horrible things to family however that person is no longer and I'm greiving for her to come back. What she did before isn't an issue for me and I'm very angry with family. I'm not eating, sleeping. I've been in a state of such high anxiety that I can't relax for a second, I'm wondering if I'm losing my mind!?? I feel mad at her for getting drunk and walking across a major highway and being hit by a car then I feel guilty feeling that way. Oh, I'm just a mess. Please can anyone tell me something. I feel like its a bad dream and I'll wake up and things will be o.k. then there are times I don't care if I wake up at all. Now I'm thinking I'm an awful person for feeling like this!!
Posted on 07/09/09, 10:07 pm |
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hang in there. like you said, you daughter isnt the same anymore, so try not to be mad at her. i am sure that all this wasnt to her intentions. she probably needs you more now than ever. stay strong and keep praying and asking God for help. it may not came fast but it will be there in one form or another. my husband had an accident almost a couple of years ago. and it was hard on me. i lived at the hospital basically so i know how crazy it can become with family and all. the only thing that allowed me get through it was my faith. and i hope that is the same or wil be the same for you. it doesnt matter what she has did or done. it matters about what she is going to do. so be there for her and try to share Gods word with her. We did that with my husband and although he is completely different it is for the best!! 
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Don't beat yourself up over any emotions your feeling. There your feelings, no one elses. You have to look at yourselt in the mirror each morning.
'For you to be there for her every day is the best thing anyone can do at this point. She has just started her recovery. Any damage to the brain takes time to heal and to see what is long term and what is short term damage. Just from my point of view, you are being an angel by just being there. But, make time to take some time for you. Your going through your own personal pain now. Go easy on yourself. Every day is a new day and can bring many new changes. Lean on all of us when you need to. Any or all of us will help with whatever questions you have or listen to you rant after a long day.. kim
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The first question that came to mind after reading your post was: Is she still drinking? Drinking is the worst thing you can do for a healing brain. I have done a lot of research on this and that is exactly why I quit drinking after my brain injury. I know of people that were alcoholics, had a brain injury and didn't quit drinking. She needs to get a hold of her addiction, or she will drink herself to death. Just wanted to let you know of those risks. Good luck and God Bless
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Not sure if I'm doing this the right way. Wanted all of you who took the time to respond know that I deeply appreciate it. My daughter will be in a skilled nursing facility for at least 6 months for therapy etc. She can't drink there and she hasn't mentioned drinking at all. She gave me power of attorney and that gives me some peace however her husband that she filed for divorce way before the accident has been coming around and she said he is dead and she thinks he is a ghost. He brought a lawyer there and had her sign papers for a lawsuit. The lawyer he took there didn't know about her filing for divorce and the abuse she was in for years. I took care of that and now I wonder what he will try next?? God bless all of you anf thank you again maryfran
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Do not feel guilty, it is no ones fault but herself. I am recovery alcoholic with a tbi I got in 03. We are very selfish people and it is all about us. In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous they write about a story just like this. A jay walker running across a highway getting hit. My advice, I think you need to have a talk with the family. By them not forgiving her is only hurting themselves. Forgiveness is the key here for the family and for the family to come together. Keep your faith and realize your powerless if you tell them to forgive and they still refuse.
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Your feelings are your feelings. You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your daughter. Are you seeing a counselor? The feelings you are having are normal! Being a caretaker is HARD for many of us. Have someone neutral and objective to talk to, but get it out of your system. The anxiety and sleeplessness will eventually change you too.
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