Blindness & Visual Impairment Support Group

I know what you mean, I get enoyed with some people as well. Like when I go to the bank and I stay in line and they say "next one please" I have no clue if ot is me or not...or if ot is me where do I go? They do have more than one window...and it takes them to long before they look up and see the stick. It suprises me how many people do not know what it means when someone is walking with a stick as well. And then there are the people who think you either a child that can not whipe it's own...buttocks...or that your an idiot or that your deaf! I have pleople yell at me, and i say " blind not deaf" yet they keep doing it. SOmetimes I think that people with a handicap are the sane ones.

I am not blind but I do have other people in my family who are and my son can not walk and is in a wheel chair. I am ask all the time if he can talk. I always say maybe you should ask him. I do have a question though . I hope I don't sound stupid. If you go in to a bank and you use your stick, have you ever hit someone in the foot or leg with your stick?
Here is a funny story about my daughter inlaw. She has some sight but not much and lighting effects her a lot. but one time she was with us at the hospital and she took off to go the rest room and got lost and wound up in pre OP room where people were waiting to go into surgery. She just walk through like she belongd there. A nurse saw her wondering around and helped her leave. She went to movie with her husband and went to get popcorn when she cam back she sat down by the wrong husband. She ask the guy do you want some popcorn. He took a hand full of popcorn and said thank you lady but I think your man is over there.she jumped up ans spilt her pop corn . My son doer not like to go down inclines in his wheel chair. his wife can see in the darkat all sothey help each other . One time ther was a steep incline in the movie theater and the hallway was dark. My son is telling his wife to hold on to his wheel chair. She thinks he think she can't see so she says It's ok i can see. He says a little louder hold on to my wheelchair, Again she says it's OK I can see!. They argue back and forth. My son says real loud. There is an incline hold on to my wheel chair. !!!

I hear ya on the people that think we are deaf if we are blind. Just Last Monday when I was in the doctor's waiting room, the nurse led me back to my seat and this old mad said, "Look at that head of hair on that blind girl there... Looks like a cat is sleeping on her head!"

I have extremely long and thick hair, but I had just received a compliment from my driver about my hair, and it was brushed and I'm sure he was just being an old geezer. but I know he was talking about me because he assumed I couldn't hear him.

It's a good thing I am not sensitive about my hair and I am tolerant of old people!

Alice

Those are all excellent examples of what blind people deal with everyday. Another classic is going to a restaurant and having the waiter or waitress ask the person you are with, "What would she like"? That annoys me to no end! It's as if people do not think we are capable of making decisions on our own... But, I try to hold my tongue most of the time and count it off as other folks ignorance.

Just to add one of my stories... I was at college and stopped to get coffee at the cafe, I put my cane to the right of me to give the clerk my money, the cane had tipped a little so I wasn't able to find it ( I have to look directly at something to see it), anywho, the clerk said a little more to the right. I grabbed my cane, coffee and said thanks. The person behind me noticed that I wear glasses and could find my coffee and count my change, so she said "She doesn't seem blind, I wonder why she is using a cane?" In which the clerk replied "Well she wouldn't have it if she didn't need it"

To answer mamob, yes I have hit people with my cane.

MY SON IS THE ONE IN A WHEELCHAIR. HE HAD A SIGN ON THE BACK THAT SAID :
YOU CAN STARE I DON'T CARE I KNOW I AM GOOD LOOKING.
HE CAN SEE THAT PEOPLE ARE STARING AT HIM

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING BLIND . BUT DOES HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT WE CAN'T SEE.
I WALKED INTO LOWS STORE LOOKING FOR WOODEN LEGS FOR A TABLE
I COME TO A CLERK AND ASK CAN YOU SHOW ME SOME WOODEN LEGS . HE SAID YES MAM, I THINK I AM JUST THE PERSON THAT CAN DO THAT . HE PULLED UP HIS PANTS LEG TO SHOW ME HIS WOODEN LEG. WE BOTH LAUGHED ABOUT IT. HE WAS VERY NICE.


MY HUSBAND AND TWO OTHER MEN THAT HAD NEVER MET UNTIL A COMPANY PICK NICK WERE PLAYING GOLF TOGETHER . MY HUSBAND AND ONE OF THE MEN KEPT COMPLAINING ABOUT THEIR LEGS HURTING AND THEIR FEET HURTING AND HOW IT WAS REALLY MESSING UP THEIR GOLF GAME. WHEN THEY GOT THROUGH PLAYING AND GOT BACK TO THE CLUB HOUSE. THE TWO COMPLAINERS TOOK OFF THEIR SHOES. THE OTHER MAN TOOK OFF BOTH OF HIS LEGS AND SAID, MAN!!! THAT FEEL BETTER!! YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW THE OTHER TWO MEN FELT.

Hello everyone, I am a new member here, I've been partially sighted all my life, so I might be able to help shed some light on this topic.

First, using a white cane is a good thing for both blind and partialy sighted individuals, because it lets people around you know that you have a vision problem without having to say anything. This helps a great deal in situations like banks, that way the lady at the counter knows you can't see her just by seeing that your carrying that stick.

In situations like banks, listen for the sound of the persons voice, and walk towards that sound. Thats what I do in public situations where, young girls especially, don't want to go sighted guide with a man. I tell people to just keep talking to me, and I walk towards the sound of their voice. Its real easy once you get the hang of it. In most situations though, if you just walk forward, people will guide you in the direction you are to go using the sound of their voice. listen to what people say, and walk towards that voice, using your cane to find obstacles in your path as your walking forward. Never step backward with your cane.

One thing to keep in mind, there is no reason to feel ashamed or stupid if strangers think your totally blind. In public situations, its probably best that people do think your totally blind, because the general public doesn't understand the difference between 20/20 and total blindness, so let strangers think your totally blind. Be prowd to get out the white cane and dark glasses, blind people have spent the last decade trying to symbolize to others that the white cane is a symbol of "in"dependance, not "de"pendance. Just because you can't see anything, or much or anything, doesn't mean your not fully capible of taking care of yourself.

Remember, that we are our own advocates. You are a symbol to others around you what blind people can and cannot do, and since others learn how you do things by looking at you, be proud and show people that you can function just fine on your own, with vision or no vision.

besides, my mom told me this ages ago, people can tell rather you have some sight or not just by looking at you. Totally blind people stare off into nowhere, while partially sighted actually look forward, so people can tell just by looking at your eyes rather your totally blind or not. Most people won't even bother trying to help someone who is partially sighted, because people think partially sighted means you can still see everything. When people see the white cane, there supposed to treat you like your a total, and you should not be offended by that, because that is how you want people you don't know to treat you. Most people are proud of blind people for getting out and doing things, most people don't feel sorry for blind people, because most people know blind people can do the same things as everyone else. I talk to many partials who think blind people are completely helpless, and thats just not true at all.

Despite what little vision I have, I can cross streets blindfolded, read braille, walk down the highway to the grocery store and pick up my own groceries from the grocery store, I can do all that blindfolded if I had to, and when your a partial, thats a talent that you must learn, because as a partial, our vision isn't reliable enough to depend upon. I can't always see the traffic lights, so I can't learn to depend on something I can't see most of the time, so use the blind methods of cane travel, cross streets by listening to the traffic and don't even bother trying to see the traffic lights, because you can't use what isn't reliable, if that makes any sense :)

What I will never understand, is how partials fight for every litle bit of sight they have left, there's nothing wrong with being totally blind, its not much different then being a partial really. Alot of partials can't even read large print anymore, so for them its not much different then being blind in the first place. Be an advocate for the rest of us and be proud to be blind :-)

let me put this another way....

when I go to McDonalds, and the lady at the counter askes me if I'm really blind. If I say "yes" and thinks I am total, then she will read things on the menu to me.

However, if I don't walk with a cane, or if I do and she askes me if I'm totally blind or not, and I say "yes I can see a little bit" then she will automatically assume that you can read the menu board, when about 99% of partials cannot read a menu board at McDonalds at all...

understand what I'm saying?? even if you tell people you can only see some shapes and shadows, they still think you can read a menu board, or a sign at a distance, people just don't grasp the difference between total blindness, and perfect 20/20 vision. They understand total blindness, but they don't understand what "visually impaired" means, they think 20/600 is the same as 20/20 in their own minds, so let them think your totally blind, whats the harm?? It will get you the help that you need, when thats all you really care about at the time. Now if you want to take the time to be buddy buddies with that person, then yeah you can sit down and explain that you are a partial and thatyou can see this but can't see that, but when dealing with total strangers wanting help, let them think your totally blind, there's no harm in that at all. :)