What is Bisexuality
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, and/or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of both their own and the opposite gender ...
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I think I'm Bi and don't know what to do
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I'm happily married with children, and for as long as I can remember I have fantasized about being with other guys. This isn't an occasional thing, it's all of my fantasies. Over the years I have come close to following through with my desires with guys I've met online, but I've always stopped myself because of my fear of my family finding out or my bringing something home to my wife. Neverthless, these desires always return. Always.
Right now I have someone I've known for many years who wants to be my first, and part of me tells me that after 30+ yrs of fantasy I deserve to follow through and find out for myself. The other part of me is wondering if I really want to risk jeopardizing my marriage for this. Maybe I should just live the rest of my life suppressing these desires and leave it at that. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? No, my wife would not be ok with me experimenting. Posted on 09/21/09, 11:09 am |
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I'm right there with you. Except I haven't been surpressing these desires for as long as you have. I've only been married 5 years (happily). I have always been 'curious" but in the last year or so it has gotten pretty intense. I decided to tell my husband. I felt that sneaking around behind his back would make me feel even more guilty in the end. Imagine you don't tell your wife and you eventually get cought. Not only will you give her a shock that you cheated but that you cheated with another man. I think you should talk to her and ease her into the situation and not give her a heart attack if you were ever to get caught.
Now for me, when I told hubby he was shocked. He would never expcet that of me. It took a couple of weeks of little chit chat here and there about my needs and desires. I re-assured him that I wasn't lacking anything in our marriage and I was very happy. But this curiosity was killing me. A few weeks went by and he gave me his "blessings"? to go ahead and experiment with a girl if I felt comfortable. I feel a sense of great releif and when I am looking online or start talking to a girl...I show my hubby all the emails and let him know what I am up to. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that I am not going behind his back. In your case it might be a little harder. I try to put myelf in your wife's shoes. Society has made it kind of taboo for a man to be with another man, yet acceptable and sexy for woman to be with another woman. So, I admit, it would be very wierd for my husband to tell me he was bi. I would have to work with him on it and talk about what his intentions were. Who knows, I might just let him try it out. Just be open and honest...as cliche as that sounds. 
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It's hard to know what advice to give, even though I'm in a similar situation (or maybe BECAUSE I'm in a similar situation). I agree with Youngrose that you shouldn't go behind your wife's back. It's not just the possibility that you might get caught. Let's just say that you don't get caught, that you're able to get away with it without your wife ever finding out. You still have to live with yourself and what you've done.
Do you feel you have an otherwise good, honest relationship with your wife? Do you feel like you can at least talk to her about this?
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