Bisexuality Support Group

Very little help: remember that you can't change your mother's attitudes or her behavior. All you can do is change your own. Don't allow yourself to be drawn into arguments. Keep your mouth shut and walk away. I know that's a very hard thing to do, especially with someone like your mother--someone who should be able to understand or at least accept you the way you are, but it's the best way to deal with it.

If you're in a relationship, if she freaks out about it, remain calm. This isn't going to work in every situation, but introduce your partner to your mother, let her see that it's okay, that you're happy to be in a relationship with someone and that she should be happy about that.

Try to remember that just because she's acting this way, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. As a parent I can tell you she's probably thinking of a few things:

1. This "lifestyle" that you're choosing is a lot more dangerous (fear of gay bashing for example) and so she's worried about you.
2. Being bisexual puts you in the position of desiring a same sex relationship, which, if you have one, will make it harder for you to be accepted in an already cold world, and so she wonders if you can be happy. As such, she's worried about you.
3. There are a lot of misconceptions about same sex relationships, people think that we "recruit" others, they think that we're just a bunch of promiscuous whores, they think that we objectify and allow ourselves to be objectified, just to name a few. She isn't sure what this means for you, her child. So, she's worried about your future.

See a pattern here? She's worried about you. Granted she isn't handling it well. I don't know your specific situation, but I do know what parental concern is all about. Sometimes, as a parent, you just don't handle things the way you want; or even the way you should.

I agree with Niceguy101, you should not allow yourself to be drawn into these arguments. If you want her to understand that this is who you are and more than just a "phase" you are going through, then simply tell your mother that you don't want to fight about it and when she's ready to talk rather than fight, you will be there waiting. Then, if and when she gets to that point, be prepared to talk to her on the level of who you are and that you haven't changed as a person. Maybe get her some information about PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).

Unfortunately, you also have to be prepared for her to never be ready to talk about it on that level. I sincerely hope that this isn't what happens in your case. But, it is a real possibility in our world.

Be well, and Peace,

~A

Tell her it isn't her life and that if she don't agree with it it isn't her that has to live it.

When I was 16 I told my mom I was bisexual and she doesnt agree with it AT ALL, and said a few hurtful things.

so...

I bought a "I love lesbians" patch and I made sure I ironed it onto my purse when she was watching. hahahaha! she hasn't really said anything since.

lol jessica. If I had to make a statement to my parents for not accepting me, I'd bring a girl over and makeout with her on the couch in front of mom and dad and then possibly go all the way in front of them. of course mom and dad accept my bisexuality so there is no need for any of that.

Janna, I truly hope that you do not have to resort to the drastic methods outlined by Anna and JessykaAnn. I don't fault them for what they did at all, because sometimes it is required to stand up for yourself that way; however, I am always in favor of more productive and open communication. I really feel that all bisexuals and/or gays and lesbians should strive for this first.

JessykaAnn and Anna, like I said, no fault to you at all for your opinions and what you would do or had to do. I applaud your bravery. I am sorry that it had to be so drastic for you. I just want to make sure you don't think I'm downing you, 'cuz I'm not. Love you both!

again my parents are ok with my bisexuality. but if they had not have been thats what i would have done to shut them up. well i wouldnt have gone that far but i would have made out with her i wouldnt have eaten her pussy to prove a point. in fact they were cool when i dated this girl back in 9th grade. that was the first person i dated and they were fine with taking me to pick her up to go to the fair

so yea my first girlfriend they welcomed with open arms

I'm sorry I misunderstood Anna, I hope I didn't make you angry or anything.

nah im fine