What is Bipolar Disorder Teen
This community is dedicated to teenagers struggling with bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder, often referred to as manic-depression in the general literature, is a psychiatric condi...
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BD and relationships/breakups?
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So I've had BD for about 5 years. I'm now 18, and just broke up with a guy that I had been going out with for awhile (six months today, actually.) Anyway, I had been feeling pretty "even" and was happier than usual for about the year leading up to this, as well as the first couple months into the relationship.
However, once my initial "starstruck" feeling of new relationships wore off, the guy started bringing me down. He himself had mood swings, and would blame everything on me. He yelled at me and argued with me constantly, and then apologized an hour later and turned into the sweetest guy ever. He restricted me from talking to any other males, going through my texts and myspace comments and such, but justified it by guilt-tripping me ("if you really loved me you wouldn't need to talk to anyone else.") Yeah, so having Bipolar Disorder with all that emotional mess behind you is NOT fun... so I decided to break up with him. I ended it in a public place, so I could have somewhere "else" to go and get away if I needed, and I got someone to come pick me up afterwards. He basically had a tantrum out of the store (after being quite aggressive, as well as mixing yells with ILOVEYOUs and cursing.) I knew I had made the right decision-- it was hard enough dealing with my own mood swings and life, why let him control mine? He was about 60 times more torn up about it than I was, obviously. We're still "friends;" I didn't know if I could completely abandon him when he has a history of depression and hurting himself... but at least he respects the "friends" boundary and only sneaks in reminders about how much he wants me back. Plus I feel a bit more at ease (and happier) without feeling committed to him, if that makes sense. Anyway, he came over for the first time yesterday, so I could give him something of his back. He hugged me and said he was sorry and loved me and kissed me on the forehead, and it made me TERRIBLY lonely. All I wanted to do was leave. But as soon as he drove away, all I wanted was to have him back! I missed the times he WAS sweet to me, and surely I could overlook all the bad things if he could just keep me again...? I know this shouldn't be a normal thought, but I have no idea what to do. I know I don't want him back (when I logically think about all the pain and depression he caused me,) but I do miss having the comfort of actually having someone there for me. Have you ever felt controlled by a relationship? What happens if a relationship makes you feel happy to think about... but when you're in the middle of it all, the other person makes your BD worse? Posted on 07/31/09, 09:07 am |
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Sorta similar situation, although my ex wasn't really possessive and restricting, just had quite the depression and such himself which for SURE can make it tougher to stay even, even if you take meds.
but we were best friends before and now some time has passed still love each other to death but in a the same friend way as before which is unusual but great. however at first, the first time we acutally hung out again we ended up right back having sex holding each other and such, because it really is tough and I definetly understand what you mean about missing the connection/touch whatever. BUT from this experience I can say you will truly move on faster if you two do not hang out alone together, and you'll be better able to hang out with anyone else you like, as well as hopefully strengthening the friend bond with your ex over time if thats what you both want. Can be a slow process, good luck to you! Oh and you did make the right choice ending it, you will be able to take care of yourself better which is very important. 
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nice coinsidence i got broke up with recently and i still feel like crap. but id prefer to b with someone who is bipolar. it just seems to me like normal paople are a seperate species. everyone in my family is normal. anyway wat u both have 2 understand is we say and do things we dont mean sometimes when we go manic. also love can b ab adiction and all bipolar people have problems with adiction.
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I understand where you are coming from but you have to understand that you were in an abusive relation psychologically. I can really, really understand the feeling that you are hurting someone you care about but it seems like it would be healthier for you and him to be apart for a while until things calm down. You can't feel responsible for another person, especially when they get out of control like how you described. I recommend that you go out with some neutral friends and just try to have fun. I just ended things with someone I deeply care about because I knew that our relationship wasn't healthy for either of us. It doesn't mean that it was easy or that I stopped loving him, just that I care enough about both of us to give our individual selves a chance. Do you know what I mean?
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I'd rather see you lonely than on here posting "I never thought he'd hit me" or something like that.
Shit escalates. Fast. Beware.
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My ex also was Bipolar and we were both junkies and it started pretty well like we were in love and so sweet and wholesome, but it just got real out of hand quickly.
And we just became set on destroying ourselves and eachother and we were very codependant or co-codependent if you include herion and I was suicidal and just really getting into trouble and I had to get out. I still love her very much and miss her everyday but I know that when I am with her my BD is crazy and I turn into dickhead and I had to leave so we could both get better.
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hey.
I just posted something like this, but a little different. I understand were your coming from. Me an my ex were together for about a month an some odd weeks. We ended up breaking up because of my bipolar. We haven't been together for month now. We stopped talking to each other for just about the hole month. Now we are getting ready to get back together. So my suggest to you is if you really want to get back with him you should give your self an him time to think an everything. I missed my ex an loved him everyday. He is planning on coming over my house for the first time since we broke up. We agreed to talk about the things that made us break up. So maybe also try that. If you guys want to get back together maybe you should try sitting down an talking about the last relationship. But I will let you know if it works for me. best wishes .. good luck girl.. all my friends told me to fallow my heart. an thats what i did. I gave us both some time apart an now we are doing great an might be getting back together soon.
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