Bipolar Disorder Support Group

I go to a local support group each week. And it's a really nice sized group but most of the people there are older (no offense ... it's just im only 25 and everyone is40 and up)
There were only three of us young people. Me, this girl L and this guy J.
And this morning I got knews of that fact that J who is only 27 years old killed himself over the weekend by letting his car run in a closed garage.

I never even let it comes across my mind that people who went to group would kill themselves. I guess i just felt like we were all there getting help.

I'm just really upset over this. and I feel sad, and J and I weren't the best of friends or anything, but we did talk and did relate on alot of levels. And he hasn't been to group in a few weeks and now he's just gone. I've felt real messed up all day.

I feel so dumb for never even thinking that people who come to group had the possibility of actually killing themselves. I know we are all sick. and I tried to kill myself before. My father committe suicide and i feel like i try to block it out of my head...

Suicide is such a horrible thing, yet I struggle with the idea of it myself. Then someone i know does it, and I dont know how to feel. And turning to god doesn't help me find answers. It's this world that is so fucked up.
Posted on 11/08/09, 05:11 pm