What is Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...

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Every once in a while, I get down of myself because I'm not "where" I think I should be. I'm 47 years old, don't have a dime to my name in savings, no retirement, in debt up to my butt, don't have a career (just jobs), I'm just not where your average 47 yo is in life. I wonder if I am a failure because of my BP and my alcoholism.

But then I have to think about what I do have, I have been stable and sober for several years now, have a good marriage with a wonderful husband, have a good job, great relationships with my children. Many people don't have those things in their lives. Maybe I am a success in spite of. I have overcome many obstacles - mental illness AND alcoholism - to become a happy and productive person. Maybe I am a success.

I'd like to hear from others regarding how they view themselves. How we view ourselves is the guide to where we go. Where are you going?
Posted on 11/07/09, 12:11 pm
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Reply #1 - 11/07/09  12:38pm
" I think it's important to view ourselves realistically. In my own life there are areas where I've been a resounding success. Other areas not so much. But it all balances out well. There is a lot of gray space between the black and white of success and failure. I suggest that most of us will fall into the gray space. "
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Reply #2 - 11/07/09  12:39pm
" I often get down on myself very badly because I am no where near where most 23 aged people are. Its frustrating, because in addition to BP, I have autism, arthritis that makes it very difficult to do anything physical, and a lot of other issues as well.

I often feel as though it is a full-time job just trying to manage all of my issues and not going off the deep end. Its like one thing affects another, so its so hard to feel stable and balanced. Like, the BP can be set off just because I didn't sleep one night due to pain.

I feel like a failure often. I had to drop out of college, I can't work, I can't even keep up with cleaning my apartment very well. I need help in so many areas yet and it feels to me and others that not much more progress has been made. I have made a lot of progress, but yeah.

Sorry for the length but this topic gets to me cause I am glad not to be alone. Though the ideal is that none of us felt like this. "
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Reply #3 - 11/07/09  1:04pm
" the life we are grown up to appreciate is built on materialism and monetary success rather than working on inner strength and understanding we must have a family by age x and be at level x in life with all that comes along with it car holidays etc l live in a small home and yes l have a career but l also have bp so l don't have the trappings....no car, no fab holidays, no hubby or children and as for savings lmao, no credit cards but l have there debt....

still l prefer to look beyond the gloom l don't care how it looks on paper l cherish the stillness my stability and faith and the good people who help to keep me here the rest is a bonus. "
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Reply #4 - 11/07/09  1:29pm
" i view myslef similarly to you,
i feel i have let others down by not acheiving what seems to be the norm for others my age....
but saying that i have a lovely partner who i love immensely and a wonderful daughter .
and some amazing friends too..so it really isnt that bad, i just feel that people look at me and think i should be doing more..maybe when this depression and anxiety is sorted i will be able to move on slowly but surely..i want my partner and daughter to be proud of me... "
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Reply #5 - 11/07/09  1:47pm
" Your second paragraph says it all!!

Success(career and $$) and personal feelings of failure on what you haven't done is all outward things. It's the true wealth and success in your personal relationships that matters. "

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