Bipolar Disorder Support Group

try my method it is fun AND it works, when you get the urge to cut (as I am a cutter I am aware of the urges) have sex, it relieves the brain drains extra energy and helps you associate a possitive experiance to the need of cutting. If your partner is not around there is nothing wrong with a bit of self exploration lol.

I attach a large rubber band around my forehead.Inside of it's ' snap area' I place a midget.Any ethnicity will do.
Then, when I get the urge to cut...I whack the band forward and release it to snap against my head.
The knees of the midget impact against each eye...and the midget let's out a little ' yelp' like a terrier.
Or a dachshund.
Then I calm it down by getting it an ice-cream, and it pats it's cold hands against my closed-eyes.As a return of love.

Irishwriter... it's not totally crazy. It's an addiction, or at least, to some of us, it becomes one. I sometimes feel it creep up with my anxiety now where it only use to creep up when I was really stressed out or on a BPD slide. It has become a real piece of me. I consider getting a new piercing (and I have - I have four piercings in each ear, belly button and eyebrow -- and recently I have been considering my nose and lip -- you see?). I have also considered it and done it with tattoos. I only have one, but I had it filled in, and big time. Big pain.

Unfortunately, I don't know the answers. The rubberband, the ice, the red marker... they never work for me. My sleepy med works. An extra Klonopin generally works. My partner making me go do something else works. My group making me contract against it works. Those are the only things. I have cut (and deeply) as recently as April. I still get questions about those all the time.

Maybe downgrading (at least I have heard this said) is better. Pinching a bit, scratching a bit... not drawing blood, not leaving scars... you know? I wish I had a better answer for you. But at least I can tell you that you are not a lone in this. I feel it, too, and I know it's hard.

(big hugs)

Yes!

Unfortunately, I understand this urge, although I haven't had those urges in at least a year and don't think I will ever have them again. Part of the reason is probably b/c I was never a serious cutter--I usually just dug my fingernails into my arm or neck so I don't have scars--and b/c I am better emotionally.

I never thought that I would understand this urge, and I still don't know what led me to it a year ago. I just had too much emotional trauma.

You get addicted b/c the pain releases endorphins and that becomes addictive, so find safer ways of releasing these like vigorous exercise. Also, if you hold a bottle of ice long enough, it feels like a cut. Try that instead of the band method.

Also, if you work a lot and exercise, you will probably be too tired to even have these emotions. You will be busy.

Also, children see and sense everything so don't fool yourself into thinking that just b/c you hide the scars they don't know what's going on. They can sense it. Remember that and what you want for your kids and what you want them to think of their parent when you think of self-harming. You would be letting them down and giving them a dangerous example.

Also, your anti-depressants may not be strong enough. You may even need anti-psychotics (although I HATE those and never would take them myself unless I was *really* psychotic--never happened fortunately).

thanks for those responses which were supportive. i have tried all the methods mentioned. i think i have done really well to get down to maybe one cut/month or so. a person who has one drink occasionally is not called an alcoholic. this seems to be the only thing that absolutely relieves pain, i would take a pill happily if they come up with one. seroquel added on to my other meds seems to have helped the most. pdoc tells me not to beat myself up about small lapses and reminds me that worrying too much about it too much simply adds to pain which makes the desire to cut stronger.

my children do not know, they would have asked about it as we are v. open about this illness, all three of them having experienced depressive episodes during the last few years. i cut in places that can be hidden. with the right jewelry on wrists the scars cannot be seen.

this is maybe my third time actually posting on the boards and i wonder why it is that i always seem to get some judgemental responses. each time it takes longer to post again. i give up.

i guess i asked for it in putting the 'is this crazy' as a question whereas what i needed were not glib answers but understanding ones, which i did get from most people. thanks again.

as they say 'if you can't say something helpful, say nothing at all'.

Irish... I hope you didn't take my post as judgmental.... I understand the urges of cutting.... but for me it seems that they get deeper and deeper.... I unfortunately am an alcoholic, one drink doesn't do it for me..... reason I stopped...... once they make a pill that will not zombiefi me I would be more then glad to take it also..... but posting on DS has really helped..... but like in rl, you will have the people that are negative and want to hurt for their own gratification..... Hang in there and post some more :)


!!SFS!!

I am a little confused too Irish, my comment wasnt meant to be judgemental at all.....it was a comparison to other addictions which cutting is. Honestly, I thought we tried to be very supportive unless what you were seeking was enabling.

I think we have all been where you are and we were only trying to share our experiences and thoughts. Sorry you were offended. Hugs

I take back my responses and do what I should have done. You are right, we should not have gone into detail.

No, I don not feel I will implode if I dont self harm, I have learned to get passed that.

I do not or did not ever see it as a treat and I think if you do, you need to work through that with your therapist.

Sorry for the previous replies

am so sorry, no was not reffering to you helleron or shelly! will email acurious to close this topic. sorry again for misunderstanding.