Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Everyone here has said it perfectly. YOU don't deserve the pain you are suffering and YOU didn't cause it. Please do not harm yourself further. PLEASE call your pdoc immediately. I have self injured when I was in deep deep emotional pain and now that I am well, I look at the cigarette burns on the inside of my forearm and cringe. I wish I had called my pdoc instead. But I hid my pain from others. You are reaching out which proves you want help and that is very healthy. I thank God I am out of that hell and you will be out of it too. I promise that you will if you will just breathe deeply and hold on to the beauty in you and not the hurt. Let this pain move through you. If you fight it it will only get worse. Cry and release it. Please believe what we are saying and get help asap. You are already in my prayers.

I called my counselor who is also a therapist specializing in domestic violence. I felt horrible for calling her at 4am but she talked me down. Sorry to worry you all. I didn't sleep all night, and I still can't. My counselor wants me to talk to my mom and make sure she knows how much this hurts me and that I won't be letting my kids go to her house since she lied. How can I know they are safe if she won't even tell me the truth about where they are going and who they are seeing?

It still hurts like hell.

Oh yeah... this is the ninth year wedding anneversary since I married that bastard, so yet another reason why today is so hard for me.

Go and talk to your mom and ask her, how can she do it to you? Go and ask her that on her face!!

oh dear lily, no you do not deserve to punish yourself dear sister, you do not deserve punishment....don't you think the supid ass thing's we do, or the way we beat up on ourselves, or the consequences for our mistakes are enough punishment enough dear lilly, .....

yes, they are, because they are ...pain dear sister..they bring pain.....but, and the big but....if we allow it.....they can also bring ....growth....yes, because i have been though enough of these fkg hells dear lily, yes...they , like i said, if we let them, if we allow them....will bring growth...;

do not hurt yourself dear lilly, you have already done enough of that, you have already made your mistakes, you have already drowned in their fkg pain and are coming up for gulps...ok, come up for a gulp of air, and another gulp of air........forgive yourself dear lilly, forgive yourself for your mistake, and actually, what you did was not so terrible dear lilly, you were actually trying, just trying to do something right...even though, in the long run...it wasn't just the "right" thing for you, or your life.......forgive yourself dear lilly, do not punish yourself..don't you think you have recived punishment enough...i don't know, but i'm willing to bet that you have

so......be tender with yourself dear lilly, and get your breath, and get calm.../

and decide...do you want to let this man continue to abuse you ,
and
do you want to continue to let this man effect your children

and that is what you have to do right now, decide
ok
is this the man you want to raise your children with,

and is this the man
who you deserve?
or is this the man
who is going to help you be stable
and to help you feel good about yourself
and to help you feel worthy
or to help you discover the true beautiful child of god, or spirit that you are


do not hurt yourself lilly

just
ask yourself;

what is going to help you
\dear sister
to ease your pain
to maybe even come up and come uot of your pain


is he

if he is
then ok
but
if he isn't
then it's time to make a change
and

i know change can be so deeply hard lillly
but
you
dear
sister
are worth it
i love u
be tender with you dear sister
be tender with u
peace for you dear sister, here for you anytime you need to talk ,cry, vent or just fkg freak at anytthing, at your mistakes
here for you
let go dear lilly
let go
be tender with yourself
,my sincerity and love, maggie

You can do that, or you can LEAVE him. You think I was being a smart ass last time when I posted that. No, I'm not. Now I'm going to be a little more adamant having a little more knowledge as to how he treats you.

He is, in my opinion, the lowest form of life that is allowed to crawl upon this earth. No one, I mean No one should ever hit their wife, let alone sexually assault them.

Who knows, I certainly don't, but there could be ALL sorts of extenuating circumstances, or even lies here, but it he has truly done that to you, then you are being extremely stupid for staying even one second more. If he is an abusive person, you are putting your life in jeopardy and your kids (if you have them.) I have a friend that counsels battered women, and the odds are good that he will hurt you again and kill you eventually.

Kill you.

Do you want that?

If not, get the hell out of the and get off this board.

We can not help you here.

Wining about it here will not help you.

He is going to hurt you.

You think I'm being mean, but I'm not. HE WILL HURT YOU AGAIN, as sure as the sun comes up in the east!

Get out now and run for your life!

Please.

Lilly, my heart bleeds for you.
There is NO EXCUSE for what that man did and continues to do to you and your son. It is not your fault. You do not deserve to be punished. You deserve to be safe and happy, to be held and reassured! (((hugs)))

I just came out of a 13 year abusive marriage. Leaving was the hardest thing to do. I didn't even do it the right way. I tried to hurt myself to end it and I wound up in the ER with charcoal being forced into me.

When I finally told the hospital pdoc what had been happening, she gave me a lot of information/statistics on domestic violence. It WILL NOT END! Unless he took drastic measures (I know, YEAH RIGHT!) It WILL NOT END! It only escalates! Statistics aren't opinions...they are real.

No one can tell you what to do... It has to be you're decision. The reason is: When you leave, leave! If you leave because someone told you to and end up going back... the lethality increases. That means that you rarely get a second chance to leave again.

So make up your own mind! And be firm!
(((HUGS)))
~ Nettie

Let me clear this up, especially for Paragon!

I have long divorced the man who raped and abused me and my son. I am REMARRIED to a wonderful man who has NEVER laid a hand on any of us.