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So I know it's been a while but I really just need to vent..
I found out in march that my brother had been stealing my painkillers, and he went to rehab, and then the next week my uncle died, and the week after that I lost my job and my dog died, then I found a new job and lost that new job and over the course of this whole shit-fit life's been throwing at me, I've been so anxious that I've been throwing up daily, and my mom actually asked me if I was bulemic because of it.So I gave up my painkillers and another back med to go on klonopin. The worst thing though, is that I'm not dealing with it at all. My boyfirned's mom is majorly alcoholic and I've spent more time helping his family and taking his mom to the ER than I have taking care of myself. It's so much easier for me to just avoid it all than it is to deal with it. Blah. That's it. Posted on 04/13/12, 04:25 pm |
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Well...that all suxs.
Sending hugs, and hopes that things turn around for you soon 
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So sorry to hear all of that, life just isnt fair sometimes!!! Youve been hand a tough hand thats for sure.
Ahhh avoidance, yes my best friend, you arent alone there, that for sure. Take care HUGS! dee
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im sorry to hear that : ( i can relate to alot of things going off at once, sorta "perfect storm"
please keep yourself as healthy as possible(right meds, rest, venting here!) do you see a pdoc regularly?
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Ah, your helping a active alcoholic and not taking care of yourself... your dealing with family addictions and loss - your in automatic, that is easier than taking care of yourself
BUT You have to take care of yourself - Alanon helped me, learn to put myself before others. I had to learn to look and help myself - none of the people around me were capable, could, or would - it was all me, and me was exhausted. You need to focus on you, even if its to give you strength to be a care giver... ((((BIG HUG))))) Been there done that, think you should work on yourself, keep reaching out : )
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Thanks guys! I'm hoping a heart to heart with my best friend will help a bit, but she lives an hour away so I don't get to see her often.
I do see my pdoc regularly, and he's been accomodating with phone calls and such as well. I stopped going to my therapist because he really wasn't helping, but I know I need to find someone new. I've been going to NarAnon meetings, (the meetings to help friends and families of addicts cope) and it's helped a lot. It's just so overwhelming to have it all at once.
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Holy shit!!!! THAT'S enough crap to make for a lousy YEAR, never mind having it all dumped on you within a short period of time!!!
I'm not surprised that you're throwing up all the time!! Nor at every other way this is taking a toll on you!!!! I hope the Klonopin helps with the anxiety!!! Don't know what I think of you going off your back med. I hope you'll be able to stand how you feel without it!!! Since you're here and since your'e posting about it, I guess you ARE starting to deal with it. That's a good thing. Are you doing any writing? ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
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Yeah! I actually have a blog with my writing on it,
http://materializedprogress.blogspo... There may be some triggers in there
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