What is Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...
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Still trying to understand Need help BAD!!!!!!
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My husband has BP I have my own things PTSD and other crap. Yes I know what a combo. One thing we do have is we do love each other so very much. I am trying so hard to understand BP as well as my own crap.
I am at a loss on how to handle episodes any of them some little easier then others. Just coming out of mixed episodes started with rapid cycling 5 or 6 weeks ago been a long ride,and my husband doesn't remember some of the things. I understand that part of BP.. Ok question if he asks about what he said and did do I tell him? I do not want to hurt him, but at the same time enough is enough with me not telling him am I keeping his eyes closed to BP? When he is in an episode I have no clue what to do and at times I am worried to death for him and it only makes things worse. I just want to support and be his strength when he needs it. I guess I am just feeling helpless right now and just have no answers. I am on here to read and understand all the posts I have been reading have really shed light on somethings and understanding. How do I get my husband to understand BP for him self he has not really accepted it and really doesn't even know all the symptoms and what can trigger it. He has know for over 10 years. I tell him I love him and I am fighting for the both of us but he needs to help me and try to make the steps to learn and find new ways to understand and cope. I just got through a 5 hour BPStorm again and read a bunch of posts from here to him and he said yea I guess I do have some of those. I understand it is scary but I can not force him to learn and force him to try. I understand at times we don't want to but dam I am holding every one and every thing together and I am starting to fall apart myself. I do understand how it sucks to have feelings you don't understand and act out I am ADHD also LOL and dont know why I have crap my self. I deal with Lupus everyday and PTSD but I am looking for new answers and meds every day and never give up hope. I guess I am just unloading I just want him to help him self when he is strong. He is a very strong man with a heart of gold and I will not leave him nor turn my back. So why is he doing it to himself? I guess I am just confused and feel helpless and have no answers. When he goes through episodes and wants to do things I feel are a danger or not a good idea do I let him do it or take him and go along to not cause a fight or do I fight? See I have no clue all I know is I am not leaving and I love him everyday and it has not changed I do not judge I love him unconditional. I just feel helpless. I see so much in him and don't know how to show him to see it. I guess I am just running off at the mouth and make no sense I am just wore out sick and feel like crap. I feel when i say the truth it hurts him and if I don't say the truth it hurts both of us. oh welL I will stop now I am open to any and all advise and I will even take anyone telling me what I am doing wrong. I can't change if I dont know. Posted on 11/04/09, 05:11 pm |
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Sorry nobody's posting with advice, its just we recently had a rough time with a friends and family member so people are kind of slow to interact. Its not your fault. Also its really hard to know what to say sometimes. You may not know it but us beepers realize how much pain we cause. We feel a lot of guilt because of it. Its hard to be reminded of that sometimes and as I said we've been reminded of it a lot today. Has he been officially diagnosed? And is he on medicine? Those two things are of utmost importance. He's not going to even begin the process of accepting bp if a doctor hasn't looked him in the eyes and told him he has a problem. Also you're never going to get anywhere if he's not on meds. The symptoms will continue without outside interference. I'd love to talk to you some more. Let me know if you have any questions. 
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Wow you really love your husband...that is clear, and are willing to support him and help him, that is good. To me....it sounds like you both could use some counseling....a counselor will give you both tools to help you cope with all you are dealing with. It will give you both a better understanding and take some of the pressure off of you. And with regard to your question about whether to tell him what he's doing during episodes, I say yes, be honest and upfront.
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Thank you Miruke I never looked at it that way i guess by me coming on here I do kinda remind you and wow I am sorry but thank you very much each lesson is a lesson in healing and growing. Yes he has been told and yes on meds. Just had them adjusted a week ago. Thats why I come on so I can learn and be better at understanding. I have my own issues so I am very understanding. Thank you for being honest its opening me up little by little.
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I'm glad you're on here. Its good to learn as much as you can. You're a godsend to be sticking around. I know us beepers can dish out a lot of crap. Laura's right about you telling him when he asks what he said or did. I know its strange but after an episode a lot of times we don't remember. I also want to share another thing I learned recently from a book on bp I was reading. When a bipolar person has an episode the prefrontal lobe in their shuts down. That's the part of your brain that gives you insight, forsight, hidsight, that gives you the ability to see the consequences of your actions. So imagine feeling the maddest or saddest you've ever felt and having no prefrontal lobe their to tell you that if you say what you're feeling you're going to hurt the one you love, or that if you hurt yourself it will have lasting consequence. That's why bp is so dangerous and its why we can be so damaging to relationships. Thats why being on the right meds is so important so we have as few of episodes as possible.
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Thank you Miruke that is really interesting prefrontal lobe. It does explain a lot if you don't mind me asking what book sis you read that in? I would love to read about that. Thank you for all your help
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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bipolar Disorder. It has stuff in it that I haven't read, and I've read lots of books on bp. Also there's several chapters for friends and family. It has a lot of good advice.
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idi...
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