Bipolar Disorder Support Group

sweetie, I was very embarrassed after sorta coming to my senses post episode.

It is hard to shake it off, the feeling of being somehow sub-human (at least in my case)

Soooo....I had to learn to accept myself, forgive myself and stop being so harsh all the way around (ie, to everyone else)

I'm not loving having bipolar disorder, but in the end, it has given me more compassion for others and myself....knowing personally how effed up things can get and that sometimes we truly have no control (before meds)

Sending you a big hug....and a warm welcome to the bipolar board.

oh, lol...I was beginning to write a musical just two months ago.

Yep. Sort of like a modern version of Our Town crossed with Rent and about a bipolar support group on line board....

Damned if I didn't get my meds stabilized again!

i was in the same boat as you-you have to realize the jig is up and you have to quit trying to hide who you are and what you did-you need a complete change in your lifestyle with pdoc appts healthy eating and sleeping schedules-support like here on DS and some local support groups if they have them-when you had your breakdown your life changed forever-i know mine did-good luck and keep posting!

Time and self forgiveness and lots of happy new experiences to forget the shame.

Oh and keeping away from people and places that remind you.

That's what I did anyhow. Took ages. The humiliation burns.

"Be happy in front of your haters. It kills them"

Hi MG~~

I have a wake in my past of things I did during various episodes. It's been very difficult and painful to deal with. But when I was diagnosed BP2 it seemed to put things into perspective. I was sick and untreated.

I am probably the luckiest person in the world because I hit on a great med combo right out of the gate. If I started doing something unusual like writing a book or posting my phony bio on Wikipedia I'd be on the blower to the pdoc ASAP.

If you had a different illness would you still beat yourself up over situations that resulted from that illness? Is your alleged bad reputation widespread or just a few people?

We have limited control over our reputations because folks are going to think what they want. Best put your energies toward a comprehensive treatment plan -- good nutrition, adequate sleep, exercise, therapy/support and meds. Hang in there!

It's very difficult to face the people you love and yourself when you have said and done things during a manic episode. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. But in the end, the people that care the most will be there for you and the rest can kiss your ass.

During one of my manic episodes I uprooted my children and moved to another town within a month. A very fast and traumatic move for them. All the while I was euphoric believing life is so wonderful and nothing could possibly go wrong. My kids have just now forgiven me for that and it has been 7 years since that happened.

This is a horrible disease and we all have to hold on together to get through it. On DS we laugh and cry with each other. Somedays it's just a hug or two that helps us get through the day. Welcome to DS.

Thank you all! My friends say... "Hey, at least no one will ever forget you MG... you're always the life of the party!", and the others, well.... they don't know I'm sick... you would think in late 20s, 30s people would have something better to do than to make fun of someone who is clearly "messed up", even if they don't understand that i'm actually certifiably crazy, some compassion would be nice. I'd rather be the crazy girl than the callous sane person anyday! Thak you all

Yeah acceptance comes into play alot with this disorder, once ya get that down pat things get easier for ya, alot easier. Playing the shame game only keeps ya down, don't do that to yourself, gotta brusj yourself off and move on to what is next in life, whatever that may be.......Make it your own!

Hi MGnyc....DON'T feel bad! I see that perhaps you come from NYC....so for the past couple of mths it looks like there's been TWO of us wandering around in an episode! Honesly, I SO know how you feel. I've had this thing for nine years now; first time around it cost me a stellar career that I'd worked so hard (for 20 years!) to achieve; and it hit me @ age 39 out of nowhere. Coming with a psychosis, I got locked away for the best part of a month; and yes for years after I felt like only HALF a person. The episodes in between, & now the latest one - I hear you. You DO feel like you have humiliated yourself.....I posted so much WEIRD stuff on FB; my pals there must be appalled, spent up a holy fortune, was leaving town every other day, and RUINED everyone's life around me. So my advice here now is (also directed to ME too!) DON'T beat yourself up about this. It happened; it's out of your control to stop. Store-keepers saw me talking to myself...(and usually I DO seem like the calmest, lucid person you could meet!) - my PALS asked me if there was a risk "I might go off on them"....frightened of this thing I guess? But BE KIND to yourself; don't judge. Pardon my french, but shit happens. Dust yourself off, put it behind you, dust yourself off, and move ahead. DO KNOW how you feel your reputation is ruined, but actually, folks have short-term memories - and once they see that you are back to yourself again, all will be forgotten. And to those close enough to you, TELL THEM what this was; you have a condition, and you just weren't yourself. But please let it go; it is still summertime, so get yourself out there into the sunshine, and recuperate yourself! Blessings, Kathleen