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Advice:
How does a Bi Polar LIve Alone and Is It Safe
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My 13 year relationship just ended. My caretaker and couch as left me due to my episodes. I don't blame him.

Do you think it is wise for a depressive person to live alone in a city without any family or friends?

What is my alternative? To live in an assisted living facility and be mental and alone the rest of my life. I woke up this morning to no one.

The silence is almost too much.
Posted on 02/21/11, 10:20 am
13 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Advice
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Advice:
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Reply #1 - 02/21/11  10:39am
" It is widely considered to be crucial for any person w/ a mental disability to have a 'support network.' This can be family/friends or even a team of healthcare providers like a trusted pdoc, therapist, case manager, etc.

If you can develop thee relationships where you are currently living, then I think you will eventually get used to living alone. It is a huge transition process, especially after a 20 year relationship. Try to avoid obsessing about what is gone. Ie, how mush you miss him. Try to work at developing a good support network.

Hubby and I moved to a new state a year and a half ago. It has been very easy for me to get a support network in church and in our apt. complex. I live amongst people who have many types of disabilities and many are elderly. Therefore, I feel very much at home here. And, even more importantly, they are compassionate and understanding about my extreme mood swings.

They are available when I"m hypomanic or 'stable' and leave me along when I'm depressed. I do have a hubby who cares for me during depressions - this is invaluable to me - so I do empathize with the difficulties you are having in learning to care for yourself while in a depression.

I do wish you much luck in this process. Be patient w/ yourself. Don't expect it to happen quickly. Finding people to lean on when you need them is a great way to get though it. "
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Reply #2 - 02/21/11  10:42am
" I just noticed that on the boards in the bipolar support group that there's a post called "how is your support network. It has like 14 replies. Maybe you would get some good info from it. "
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Reply #3 - 02/21/11  11:06am
" I'm a depressed person who lives alone in the city without family etc etc - is it wise? It's life. Can't do anything about it. But if I could afford to - I would move into an assisted living facility. Being taken care of is a luxury, and I'd take it any way I could get it. "
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Reply #4 - 02/21/11  12:26pm
" I guess that is a decision between you and your doctor. Depends on how bad you are. I would think you could live on your own , now always joyful but yes it can be done, again I don't know your severity. i would definatly work on your support system so that you would have at least one person in your area where they can get to you in a crisis. Good luck and hope that a brighter day is upon you. "
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Reply #5 - 02/23/11  9:17am
" for a couple months I was living alone, but it didnt help me at all...not having dependable company or someone to vent to caused all kind of trouble for me mentally, I eventually found myself back home with my family.

But i know it varies from person to person...you should get yourself a new support team, i dont think anyone should go it alone, as people need people. "
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Reply #6 - 02/23/11  9:27am
" Thank you for your feedback. I wish I could but I can't go home and live with family as they are a very bad trigger for me and quite dysfunctional.

I really have no choice do I? Survive or be homeless. They are cutting back programs for mental health everyday....assisted living is hard to get into and to be honest, not the way I want to live personally.

What I wanted was a family. What I got was bi polar that keeps any attempt at making a family away.

I think it's the silence and no one coming home that gets to me.

Support system is weak. Have one friend, but who has boundaries and a husband who does not like any drama. She is the best friend I have here now. Believe it or not, there are no support groups for bi polar except for one a month that is so crowded no one gets to speak.

Sometimes I feel no matter how hard I try, I'm going to fail. I have had a few good days, it's waking up in morning and realizing he is not longer here is what triggers me. "
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Reply #7 - 02/23/11  9:57am
" I want to say firstly that I cannot stand most Community Mental Health Centers, but sometimes, having a case worker can be really great. I had a temporary case worker when I was at graduate school at MS Valley State University.

But, the best scanario might just be to live independently and to find a good case worker, good doctor and counselor all in one place. If you have a good church to go to as well, that can be good. At this new church, for example, I have a friend who has ADD and is artistic, so I have someone who understands my ADHD and my artistic side. She accepts me for being different.

Also remember that although they are not *with* you offline in the physical sense, you have an entire legion of people who care about you. And although they are far away, you know that you can call at least one of these people--if you need to. "
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Reply #8 - 02/23/11  11:44am
" I just move to Orlando for a new job...I know nobody, except for my new coworkers. I want to keep my personnal life seprate...so I have no friends and it sucks. I would try to get into a support group...out pt therapy you may meet new friends that can relate to you. I havent done this yet but need to...lonely is the worst. Keep your chin up. Your not alone. "
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Reply #9 - 02/26/11  1:50am
" I'm sorry about the ending of you relationship. I'm sure you are grieving that loss which makes us feel even more alone and depressed. You add bp and the depression worsens. I've been there. I can say that I live alone and sometimes it drives me crazy, but I'd rather go crazy like this than go crazy living with my dysfunctional family. I've been living alone for 4 years now. It does have it's up sides too. Nobody to tell you how to do things and nag at you is a big plus for me.

I think you're going through a grieving period and need to be gentle with yourself through this process. It does get better. "
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Reply #10 - 02/26/11  4:46am
" Hi, l'm so sorry for the end of your relationship l know how hard it is to find yourself suddenly alone but yes it is possible to be in a city without friends and family and cope. You need to have as others have said a good support system, you will be grieving for the end of your relationship plus learning how to cope with the adjustments.

I am well known by my Dr and my psychologist, plus l found a group l can turn to if l need practical help getting a job, moving, going to court even. I know a social worker who helps me fill in paperwork when l need to use benefits. I went online to find my local walk in mental health hospital so if l crash in the night l know where to go and I found an emergency 24hr hotline so l can talk to a Dr if l feel awful.

I haven't gone to a group meeting but if it felt right for me then l would, you need an emergency plan to help you look after yourself just in case and maybe start looking at a charity job you can do a day or a morning a week to get you out of the four walls, it can be a stepping stone to making friends and they can be a great support system too. "

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