What is Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...
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Abortion. . .
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How do people with mental disorders like Bipolar II handle things like abortion? I am recently diagnosed with Bipolar II and before the recent diagnosis I became pregnant. The guy I have been with for 4 years still currently am with him but at the time we had been together for like almost 2 yrs.
Anyway, I told him right away that I was pregnant he was in disbelief, so over the next week I took three more pregnancy tests, ALL POSITIVE. Him, His Mother and many other important people in my life were all pushing the subject of abortion, though my heart was telling me not to listen. I have always been a pro-choicer, I just have the opinio that it is up to each woman herself right? - And so I decide I do not want to do it in my own life. I held fast to my belief system and my faith until everyone broke me down and I finally just had the abortion becuase they tired me out so horribly, I was emotionally broken. Still not fixed. . . I love my boyfriend with all of my heart. . . I have tried to forgive him for acting the way he did and I think I have, but I am still so hurt and scared even a couple years after the abortion. Even though I forgave him, the hurt is still there of the things that were said, I was put in position where I had to choose between my boyfriend and our baby. . . How do I get past this and be able to live my life again? ever since the abortion, I have stop hanging out with friends, haven't gone out of state to visit family, have just been staying at home and spending time with my boyfriend every weekend. It is a pretty isolated life, is why I am here I suppose. I recently like in past two weeks have made two female friends which is out of the ordinary for me I don't usually have ever gotten along with girls, and besides I have been so scared to have people close to me because they just get hurt and do't understand my disorder or I cannot communicate my problems to them well enough it just turns into a fight. Like the issue with the abortion I am still hurting and need comfort but I live with my grandmother and I try to talk to her about it, she acts like its old news and acts like I am doing something wrong by still feeling hurt feeling over it. She doesn't want to hear it she tell me to get over it and move on with my life, just becuase she has had it done and got over it faster than I am. Or maybe she do not remember how bad it hurt and for how long because she is not young anymore and she has no man and has no life like I have made myself. I see myself going down the same road, just getting numb to everything and get to the point where you don't care if you are awake or asleep, alive or dead, happy or in pain you just go through life and let stuff happen to you without trying to make it to a certain goal or change the future so it can be better. I want better future, and free of feeling like I made a mistake, I am only going to be 20 years old in january 24th 2010 and I have already been faced with this challenge of keeping a baby or not, I felt love for the baby, and I saw the ultrasound and the baby wasn't nothing but a fertilize egg still, and was nothing in the eyes of the people that came to clinic with me, but I saw something so much different and it feel like it kill me inside what I did. . . I guess I just am rambling now I stop talking I suppose. ~shayna~ Posted on 10/21/09, 07:10 pm |
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As much as I believe in someone's right to choose, like you, I can understand that sometimes you want to have the baby and so you're hurting. I think that anyone, bipolar or not, would have a hard time with this decision. Know that it's done with, and you can't change it now. Right now you ARE feeling things and you are not numb. This is good. Don't do the numb thing. Once you do it, it's hard to come back from it. Feel your feelings, as hard as they are. They'll fade. You were a brave person and you still are. I guess I don't have any really good advice. But that's what I can give.
The only way I could think of that bipolar would make this worse is that it could throw you into a mood swing. Being on medication can help that. 
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Agree with em 100%, feel your feelings now and in time the hurt will heal, be good to yourself, love yourself Kitty and trust all will be well. Take care of YOU now xx
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I think miscarriages and "abortion" ("abortion" is not a medical term) should go through grief counseling and the grieving process. As with many decisions, the results aren't easy to bear and I wish you healing from this.
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oh hunni l'm sorry you didn't have support for your choice l agree with the others you need couselling for this and grief counselling sounds the best way to help you step forward. It sounds as though you're stepping away from all those who have joy in their lives and tried to talk to someone who should understand but doesn't.
People want you to move on for them and for you but it takes as long as it takes, but don't let this turn into depression first...please get some help for you and start with writing it down everything.
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Shayna -- I'm so sorry you feel this way. I recently had a miscarriage, and I know it's different, but I feel your pain. I have found therapy to be helpful in this area. It's still hard for me to talk about, but sometimes I just need to and I don't want to burden my husband. If you need to talk, I'm here for you.
*HUGS*
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Thank you so much everyone, especially vickybea and RITKat, I'm feeling a bit better this morning. =^.^=
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I don't think killing a person can be a choice, no even for the own person.
I believe it is a sin, you shall not kill. Anyway, I don't think this a good place to argument chioce-life or to judge others sins. I am a sinner too, and don't have Shayna guts to expose this kinds of thing in public with such openness. Shayna, a sin is an action that separates you from God. He is the only whio can judege in this regards. The commandments are for you not for others to judge you. Remember God is a god of infinite love and endless mercy. He loved you and will love you always. Go back to HIm,, He is waiting for your. Don't let a mistake separate you from the best friend you will ever have. I pray everyday for the killed babies and also for the mothers. May God have mercy in the atrocities we're doing.
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You DID bring the debate into it. That's not what the post is about. She's looking for support, not some Christian to tell her what she did was wrong!
You are NOT a babykiller, Shayna. You made a choice. And I know the choice hurts, and you regret it, but that doesn't mean you are wrong with God. Find peace. It's OK to wish you made a different decision but remain pro-choice.
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I am bipolar, and had an abortion, and it never bothered me one bit. But I guess it's different for different people. I'm sure you'll never do it again. I know I wouldn't. Just remember, in all seriousness, it was only a POTENTIAL life and you did not commit murder. Not anymore than it is eating chicken to eat an egg yolk. You'll be OK sweetie. It's good that you are so loving. Don't blame yourself. You were pressured into it, which no one should be. But you may get pregnant again, and you will know what you want to do, and no one will stop you.
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Shayna, I am sorry for your pain. Loosing a hoped for child/baby in any context is painful. I think it is sad that your boyfriend and family were not supportive of you and your faith and values in your time of need. Your grandmother's unwillingness to listen only speaks to how she has coped with her pain-by hiding it deep within...if she never dealt with her own situation, she may be of little comfort to you.
Being young & obviously fertile is a funny thing. It is very possible that this same situation may come up again. I got pregnant 3 times while on various birth control methods (msg me privately if you want to know the outcomes). I want say now- to consider a crisis pregnancy charity for post abortion counselling now or for assistance if unplanned or crisis pregnancy ever happens again. I hope it doesn't...but... ((hugs))
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