Bipolar Disorder Support Group

anyone feel like they're shrinking more and more each minute so that they will disappear.. more detached.. am cutting as much as i can, have stolen warfarin so that when i take it and cut i will bleed out quickly and it will definitely work. mental health services here are easy to talk your way out of if necessary. i am afraid that if i break into small pieces that there is no way that i will get back together agan, the straw that broke the camels back was my bp brother whom i have spent the last six weeks trying to help, while dealing with horrible family members, my mother 's last months as she maages to stay alive. he refuses to get help. i have been providing food and money that i don't have, got him to a hospital where they sent him home even though he told them he wanted to kill my father , with good reason, and then himself. he blew up at me last weekend, threatened me with a knife and left me in terror on sat night cutting and crying for the night. he has now told me he never wants to see me or speak to me ever again, i also had given me a place to stay, i am so hurt, my function level is at an all time low. my pdoc calls me several times a day to make sure i am alive and it is only those call that keep me going. my son's girlfriend's baby died in the womb this week at ten weeks into the pregnancy. she had to go through labour and we are all devastated. it was a boy, alex-fintan. only three out of eleven family members even bothered to call me and only one called my son. i am so lonely and in such pain i just want all this pain to end. i am tired of all this. i seriously need help. i am also being evicted at the end of the month as it has cost me the last four months rent to travel the four and a half hour journey each way every weekend to see my mother. i am totally at the end of my resources of strength.
Posted on 11/09/09, 06:11 am