Bipolar Disorder Support Group

by we i didn't mean u guys...i meant me and my husband...my poor kids

We cant even handle our own lives.I just want the metal

me too...i am so tempted right now to just rip a big red line through the middle of me

Me too. OMG. its so hard to resist. Why are we resisting?

i don't know honestly...the draw of wanting to reply to someone online keeps me away from the knives...i want him to see it though...like when i carved words into my stomach a while back...like when i slashed my breasts with razors...he was so upset...i want to hurt him again...he has no flippin idea how much he has hurt me

The only reason Im not cutting right now is because I have nothing to do it with, and would rather not die in my friends house. Beat in to his brain somehow. Its like my parents. They just dont get it, and how much how they do hurts us.

i think it's kinda funny in a way. i always would tell my husband how i was suicidal and i would cut and he would just think i was crazy. now that i cheated he is turning crazy too...now he thinks about blowing his brains out but he still has no sympathy for me and my situation. i seriously want to go find a razor right now. glad you are not doing it.

You cant either!

Wow, where do I start... first let me say, I do hope that you and your husband are not trying to work through your affair without a therapist. You definently need a therapist, not only for working on your marriage but for your feelings you are suffering through right now.

I have lived a life of hell and came out alive and proud. There were way more days that I woke up pissed off that I was awake than not. I so wanted to die.

I blamed everyone and everything in my life, until I finally found a therapist I could trust. I found working with him, I am an adult and my feelings are up to me, not everyone around me... if I am ultimately going to be happy with life, then I have to find my purpose. I have to find what makes me happy and get to that place. It is MY problem. Not the people in my lifes.

There are reasons your husband is visiting porn sites. Reasons you and I may not be able to comprehend, no more than he is able to comprehend why you could have an affair on him.

it sounds to me as though you are both fighting your own demons and not coming together on this one. Either one or the both of you are not interested in making the marriage work, or there are things standing in the way of allowing it to work. Something the two of you are unable to see without some help.

Believe me, wanting to die is a horrible feeling. I can't count the times I planned my death down to the minute. I had some really cool ideas too!! That is the scary part. Plans that would have worked like a charm.

I have found that my children and my grandchildren are the driving force in my life now... I don't need a man to make me happy... but the funny thing is, it took me realizing that to find the man I had been searching for my entire life... funny how things work huh??

You have a reason to continue your life. You just have to be willing to fight to find it...

I am medicated and therapied up now... it would take all night for me to list the medications I take, simply because not only do I suffer from bipolar depression, I have degenerative bone disease, Fibromalygia, anxiety, high blood pressure, shall I continue or do you get the picture! LOL...

Instead of fighting against the world to die, I am fighting the shit to stay alive and be happy... it is a wonderful feeling to finally overcome and be in control....

I am here anytime you need to talk, vent, bitch, scream, curse... whatever it is you need to talk about, I am sure I have been through it... when I find out how to send private messages on here, i will even send you the entire life history of me!! You will be surprised after reading that to know that I am here and happy to be here.

Don't give up... I wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction!! LOL... have a sense of humor.. if you can't laugh at you, what can you do?? I found laughing at myself is a wonderful stress reliever... screw the world... we are in this together!!!

write to me and let me know how your day is going everyday, I will be your therapist if that is what is needed!! I promise to be here for you... to share and to care!!