What is Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...
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Crisis Center
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I want out!! Can't take it anymore
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So I pulled the stupidest move on the face of the earth and stopped taking my meds. I was only off of them for 3 days and boy did I sprial quickly. I started taking my ,meds again so hoepfully thye will start working again quickly. Now I am lef wanting to cut my wrists with a steak knife. I am such an idiot. I jut feel like dying. I just want out. I can't tell my parents. They would just yuell at me. Or Im not sure how they would react. This is a scary place to be. I am worthless. I don't do anything with my life. I am a disgrace to life. I shooulnd't be allowed to live. I am sorry I didn't listen to everyone who tried to talk me out of not taking my meds. I guess this is what I get and what I deserve.
Posted on 11/05/09, 08:11 pm |
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You need to tell your parents that you are feeling so badly so they can make sure you are safe. If you feel like you can't talk to your parents call a crisis line. They are trained to deal with situations like yours. Your life is worth something and I know how seductive the thinking about stopping meds can be. Take care and get help. 
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Jenna, please take a deep breath. You are not worthless, that is the illness talking. If you are truly suicidal, please tell your folks or call a crisis line or get to a hospital. I've been where you are and now I am so thankful that my attempts failed. You are a valuable human being and deserve to be here. Hopefully, your meds will start to work soon and you will feel better. In the meantime, keep talking here if you truly have no place else. Please, take care of yourself! ((hugs))
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oh how this dis-ease can trick us into thinking this way! Just breathe through it and say positive things as best as you can to convince that part of your brain that you are ok and will get thru this. I've been thru it so many times in the last 3 years! You are not alone! just keep writing in your journal in here and stay safe! It can be very confusing in your mind. Visually allow yourself to step outside of your mind. push those negative thoughts and voices away!
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I have decided to not think about it for the ngith and to just go to bed. I think that's my best bet right now.
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Give yourself time and should you find yourself holding a steak knife; throw a nice steak on the BBQ and enjoy that. Self harm is just another ridiculous statistic you would be contributing to as is suicide. Don't be boring, find something to channel the energy into such as writing, listening to uplifting music and / or find a good hobby to distract yourself. If all else fails call your pdoc if he/she has an emergency number or take a sleep med, goto sleep and tomorrow may and will look a-lot better. Nothing hamstrings us more than destructive thoughts; don't destroy you but destroy that which hinders you from seeing all the wonderful things you are and can achieve. The illness speaks in lies and distortions; ignore them and destroy them with truth and self love.
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