What is Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...
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Crisis Center
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Another Crappy Day
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Well, I am ready to throw in the towel. I had yet another crappy day. Everything went wrong. I had a panic attack in the car. I was afraid the airbag would open and I'd die a horrible painful death after my arms were broken by the airbag and I lost control of the car. Took an ativan when I got home even though the pdoc wants me taking Benadryl for the anxiety. I don't care if I take the entire bottle.
I wanted to kill myself by slicing my wrists. My husband called me and I was crying. I could see the knife. I don't know what to do. I cannot see my pdoc until 11/23. I cannot leave work since I have trip to Montreal booked for 11/15. Yet, I feel like dying. I feel like a waste of space and I have nothing left to offer. I am a failure and a screw up. I have not accomplished any goals in life. I am not worthy of life. I don't help anyone. Posted on 11/03/09, 05:11 pm |
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I'm sorry your feeling SO badly. Please know this is your bipolar talking, all those negative thoughts you're having are b/c your depressed. They will go away when you feel better. Think of a time when you felt good, that will come again. Please hang in there and know you won't feel like this forever. If you need to talk I'm here. 
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I feel for you. I wish I could help you. EVERYDAY has been crap for me since I tried to commit suicide in September. I have a knife in my desk at work and sometimes I cut myself. I can't help it - it relieves so much pressure. My car broke down on the way to work today over a bridge. I didn't have a cell phone. All I can say is I'm with you. I don't want you to hurt yourself and, maybe, if you're doc can't see you until 11/23 - can he/she recommend someone else to see before then? There has to be some professional who can see you soon - tell them this is an EMERGENCY!!! And you ARE a worthy person who has a lot to offer - I just know it!! Please don't give up. I'll be thinking about you.
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I may call the emergency line, if I need to. I thought about it earlier today. At least I can talk to someone at her office then.
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Definitely call the emergency line. This sounds like an emergency! You ARE worthy of life. Please be safe and know there are people who care. ((hugs))
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I agree the emergency line sounds like a good idea if you're having these kinds of thoughts. Please stay safe!
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I shouldn't have even posted this. I'm sorry for bothering anyone with my stupid problems. I was hypo last week and now I'm crashing. I know that, but at the same time, I feel like crap and want to die.
Hubby is home with me. I think the ativan is calming me down. If it gets worse, I will have him take me to the ER and screw even the emergency line at the pdoc's office. I still feel like crap. I feel like an awful person. Who would want to be friends with someone like me? Why is my husband married to someone like me?
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He loves you and I bet you are amazing person. One thing I know is you are really strong for going through this. I'm glad your hubby is home with you. It's good you posted here, I made a new friend. I hope you feel better soon.
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I just feel like a burden.
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This disease lies to us. When we are manic it tells us we are God and when we are depressed it tells us we are the devil. The truth for all of us lies in between somewhere. Try to treat yourself with the same love you would show a sick friend. You deserve that! If you need to make that call then please don't hesitate.
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Sorry you feel like crap ,maybe going to hospital is a good idea .I am sure your not a awful person you just feel like it at the moment .I am glad you have a husband and it sounds like he cares about you .Be kinder to yourself and know you will get through this thinking of you takcare
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