What is Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...
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tired of going on
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I am so tired of every day something new coming at me that I can't take care of or fix...something that makes my life hell. I don't see the point in living on all these meds and keeping on going on. And nobody can tell me what the point it, just the usual "pat" answers, Oh it will get better, everything thing will be okay don't worry about it.....well it's all bull shit. These people don't know crap. They walk in their perfect little lives, they don't live mine and mine is hell and I don't want to live it any more. I'm done trying, I'm done fighting I just want to lie down and give up. I see no reason not to anymore.
Posted on 06/23/09, 11:06 pm |
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i know how you feel .i feel like that sometimes too. 
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but you have 2 kids you have to keep going o for them. maybe put a call into you pdoc and see is he can tweek your meds so you dont have to have these thoughts.
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thanks, I just saw my tdoc and pdoc yesterday and had my meds tweaked.....I see my tdoc again on Thurs. Right now it's just all more than I can take right now.
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I guess people don't know what more they can say to encourage... no one truly knows what another is going through unless they walk in their shoes... even the people you think that have their lives together often don't share the true picture.. no one has a perfect life... but what you are going thru is not easy and its so hard to keep going especially when change does not come ... i hope the rain stops soon and you enjoy a rainbow... ((hugs)) polar
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that was me yesterday and i almost threw myself off a moutain. if i'd be drinking i would have. lol. hang in there for some reason. i hang on for a few reasons. i find its the litttle things that give way to the big things. honestly. i'd rather just die, but i keep going like some fool. so maybe you should too. we can't stay unlucky.
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It's hard to not come back with pat answers...and they sound so vapid and empty when we receive them after explaining how we feel. I suppose that it's something that people with BPD can share; the feeling of the vanity of life. I wish that BPD didn't exist, and I could lift myself up by my bootstraps, and just shake it off, and buy into the "Life is worth living" crap spouted by "normals"...I'm sorry you're feeling the uselessness of it all. And I send you many, many hugs.
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How come when people tell you things wil get better they never do?
Everything just keeps getting worse, why bother anymore? I just moved back into my house to find out my husband had let it go into foreclosure and with me still not having found a job, there's no chance of me stopping it, just delaying it as long as possible. I should be used to it, my life is nothing but bad shit, I know this, I shouldn't be surprised. I just don't see why I try anymore, it's getting to the point where I can't even afford to see my pdoc anymore and then I'm not sure what I'll do.
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kat, i too hate the curves life keeps throwing. i have no magic answer for you only to say am here for you to listen. how is the move to the house? hope tdoc helps you this week. it is hard to find a point most of the time. i look at other people and wonder all the time what gets them out of bed in the morning. why do we have to deal with all these symptoms of this illness and have to keep trying new meds or tweaking them in the hopes that they will work. i wish the drug companies would come up with one pill that would work without awful side effects. thinking of you every day.
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