What is Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders where the person experiences states or episodes of depression ...
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Sinking fast into another deep depression
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Here's the thing. I can feel myself sinking into another deep, deep, dark depression and no matter what I try, nothing is helping. Since being diagnosed as BP (along with other severe disorders) I've been on meds and in treatment. I've gained 50 pounds from being on one med that I'm no longer on and I can't lose the weight no matter what I try. My husband doesn't help anything because he's an online cheating ass. Sure he does alot to help around the house and with the kids at times. But DAMMIT! What about me????? Where do I fit in to the equation of his life other than when it comes to sex? I hate it! Sure my meds play a key role in my lack of interest. But just for once, if he could convince me that it's me and ONLY me on his mind when he's in the mood, maybe I'd try harder. I'm lost. I feel so alone. Even when I try to talk to my own family about anything to do with my BP, they give me this look that makes me feel like they're thinking "Here she goes again with her crazy BP imaginings again". I just feel like there's no one in my life that understands..........
Posted on 11/03/09, 12:11 am |
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I can relate with the weight problem, I gained maybe 30-35 pounds (I refuse to weigh myself on a scale anymore) in the last 3 1/2ish months because of a new med I was put on. I was already overweight, and now it is near impossible for me, it seems like, to lose it. It doesn't help that I'm depressed all the time, and instead of going out for a jog I curl up in my closet and sleep. You're not alone, don't worry. The depression sucks, but we gotta live with it, ya know? Keep in mind that you live with these disorders, and you're alive, so you're already stronger and more courageous then a lot of people I know! Try talking to a nutritionist about losing the weight, confronting your family about your needs, and doing something to make yourself feel better! Movie night? Mini vacation? Enjoy life, as much as you can! 
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Hi l'm sorry you are sliding into the abyss its a terrible place to be and try to function as wife and mother must be so hard. Don't think about your relationship with your hubby while you're in this state of mind all you'll see and focus on is the very worst and it will cut you even deeper. The weight gain is another factor you need to concentrate on when stable too l put on pounds when on depakote and it has been hard work to shift it.
Regardless of exercise and diet unless on starvation rations weight will come on for most the best advice l've seen about it is stay to no sugar low fat foods it meant for me an almost vegetarian high grain diet, very eastern so l can keep flavour and not give up because of having rabbit food but before focasing on that get your moods stabilised. As for your hubby communication is the word he really needs to hear you, its not just a case of him looking for his thrills online what about you and your needs while lying back and wishing it was better. Maybe surprise him with some ideas of your making if the weight gain makes you feel less sexy try some sexy corsets over a short skirt, heels or stockings to make you feel better and attract him. Try some adult toy play together but if he knows his online habits hurt you he needs to curb it more to win you back its about respect.
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Don't give up. You have people here who understand even when the rest of the world doesn't. It's espcially tough with family because those are the people love and trust...unfortunately its impossible for them to understand bp so we're almost always alone with our illness. I'm sorry your husband isn't as supportive as you need. Your kids need you. Don't give up. Be strong for them if nothing else. :]
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I feel your pain, slipping further and further into the dark hole. Hang in there as I am trying to. Peace
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Remember you are not alone.
Unfortunately, many bp patients gain weight on their meds. I joined calorie count to try to get to lose weight. It has a bipolar support group section, which I find very helpful. I can't control the actions of others, 'though the reactions you've been getting sound inappropriate. It's not you. They are showing their ignorance and lack of enlightenment. It's not you or your fault. Please remember that. With love and light Marion
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