Bereavement - Teens Support Group

The three year anniversary of my grandfather's death is coming up quickly and my bad days have returned. I've noticed that I really only have them around this time. Those horrible thoughts return to my head telling me that maybe it would just be easier and hurt less to end it all. Then maybe I wouldn't miss him so much and I could be with him again. I still miss him and I know that isn't going to change for a very long time. I'll never stop missing him. I just wish I would stop having these bad days. I thought I was past them. I just don't really know how to deal. Most of my friends don't know how to respond because they've never dealt with losing someone so close to them. I hope they never have but at the same time I wish there was someone close to me who could understand just so I would have someone to talk to. One of my friends and I have been talking almost everyday and he told me last night he's always here to talk to me and is always here for me but I don't quite know how to open up to him without scaring him off. I'm just scared for the anniversary to be here. That's going to be a very bad day for me.
Posted on 10/09/09, 09:10 am