What is Bereavement
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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Signs ???
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I think we've discussed the possibility of "signs" from loved ones. I try to keep a level head on that - despite my own wishes. I sleep in what was Mama's bedroom. I think I've mentioned having gotten her dusting powder scent before. (Once, I'd figured out it was my powder - but other times it was HERS.) Last night, it was perfume. I don't wear any lately, and Mama's hasn't been used / opened in years. Windows were closed, so there was no weather element (such as dampness) that might have caused it. (I alway try to keep a level head on that - excusing things away if there's rain, humidity, etc.) It came out of nowhere, lasted awhile, and I wish I could explain it. It almost always comes at night. Who knows? Just wanted to share.
Posted on 10/31/09, 06:10 am |
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Hello, thank you for sharing.
I have dreams and I've seen birds flying overhead at the cemetery I I hope you find the scent of the dusting powder a comfort. I know I would. If there is any way for our loved ones to check in on us I'm sure they would. I have gotten depressed and started crying and something would abruptly come along to distract me. Eg: a neighbor asking for a lift because their car broke down. Once at the cemetery the caretakers invited me to lunch when I was visiting mom's grave. I sometimes think that mom wouldn't want me to be so lost without her and is trying to distract me. Thank you for sharing. I find the possibilities a comfort myself : ) 
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Linda,
Your experiences are the sign of comfort. I've had a friend living upstairs who's pretty much taking care of me - something I hadn't expected after Mama's passing. I, too, think my mother wouldn't want me to cry / feel as lost as I do without her. I cry ALOT. No, I WEEP. Mama believed in signs - so I can't believe she wouldn't do something positive for me, if she could. I feel very strongly about that. I just feel so helpless - so unsure - and at times, so alone.
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Whenever I am having a bad day, I always seem to dream about my mom at night. One night, after having such a bad day, missing my mom, I was dreaming about her and woke up to the sound of my printer going off in the other room. It was creepy, but also comforting. I agree with both of you that our moms would not want us to be so sad and upset. That's probably why we get signs like this.
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I believe that it was your mama. What a comfort. I don't have any signs when I am awake but I dream about my mom and dad alot. mom died Mar 7 2007 and dad died Jan 15 2009. It's heartbreaking so I take comfort from my dreams. I phoned Venus Andrecht when my dad had his stroke and couldn't talk. So she told me what dad was thinking. She also told me mom was giving me signs but "I was so busy looking for signs that I couldn't see them for looking" Something my mom would typically say. If you haven't heard of Venus Andrecht just google her name. She is just lovely and she has a radio show each Tuesday. You might find her interesting. I wasn't really into this until mom died.
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I think we should never doubt the signs that we see/hear/smell. When my husband died I never expected anything like signs but there they were and I could not dismiss them.
I truly think that our loved ones do want us to be ok - because they are ok and they don't want us to hurt. I have been to some grief workshops and I learned that loved ones contacting those left behind is very common. I would absolutely believe what you experience. Starin - I was told that the energy which is created when we are born, never leaves the universe's atmosphere and loved ones, trying to connect to us through some form of electrical energy, is common. I used to get the strangest totals on adding machines and my radio in both of my cars went crazy after my husband died - they would not stay on one station. I also used to feel him sitting next to me in the car. Believe what you feel.
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