Bereavement Support Group

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost a dear friend to suicide when I was 16 (I'm 48 now) and then lost my oldest son to suicide in 1998. My son was 17 years old. It is by far the worst thing I've ever been through in my life.

It's normal to have guilt and regrets. Know that you aren't to blame though. Your friend had an illness. They can only see their pain and sometimes they feel as if others will be better off without them. They don't realize the pain they'll leave behind. If they did, I'm sure many wouldn't go through with it.

I hope you have friends/family you can talk to during this time. I didn't have that and I think it would have been helpful. If you don't have anyone, you might consider counseling, if you can afford it.

Try to remember the good times with your friend. You may try to help his wife and children through this time. That would, in turn, also help you.

I wish there were more I could do for you. Time does help.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Thankyou Hope4thefuture, I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. I don't blame myself. I know when I was younger I would have done that but I am wiser now. I am just terribly sad for my friend and for his family. It is just so tragic that he thought he was of no use to the world and those children needed him so much and will miss out on so much because he is not around.

The really painful thing that I haven't been able to tell anyone is that he hung himselfand his 8year old son told me that he when he viewed this Dad, he noticed that his Dad had a broken thumb. This just tears me up. This means that he either changed his mind too late or just had some inate response to save himself. Either way, if he had succeeeded he could have been alive now. But it didn't happen. I hate to think of his last few moments of life.

I used to catch the bus home from the coty with him . Now I just cry all the way. All the other people sitting near mewould hve known him, maybe not personally, maybe they never spoke to him but thye would have known who he was and they don't know. I feel like I should stand up on the bus and make an anouncement that he is gone. I don't know. It is all too sad.

That's the city not the coty. I have had a glass of wine tonight.

They often are very good at hiding their true pain and the depths of it. You had no way to know. You were his friend, and you tried to do what you could. Many times they will not let us in close enough to understand or know just how bad they are. Suicide is a grief within a grief. There are diffrent feelings and issues and people treat it diffrent.I lost a son and a step daughter to suicide. I know I tried, and I have regrets too. I am not guilty. Everyone has to take responsibility for themselves at some point. I am so very sorry for all of you who loved him. My prayers are with you and family and friends. It is a good thing if yall can get some kind of counseling to help you understand . It is a long hard road.Love and Prayers,Peggy

I'm so sorry to hear about his thumb. Did his son find him? I hope not.

My son also hung himself. It's been 11 years and I still hate that word and can't stand seeing ropes. He had suffered from depression when he was younger. He seemed to be doing better. He had a job he loved and (said) he planned on continuing on there after he graduated from high school. Then, about 3 weeks prior, his girlfriend broke up with him. I had talked with him a week or so prior and even asked if he was thinking of suicide. He had denied it. They don't always show outward signs.

Just try to take one minute at a time.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your friend. It's hard to understand how desperate a person must feel to leave behind their families to grieve for them.

I wish you and his wife and children all the best and I hope everyone can find some peace with this.

Yes, Peggy, I understand what you mean about a grief within a grief. I have lost people close to me before and for close family the pain is even more intense but with suicide there is an extra dimension, in that it seems so avoidable and the "if onlys" that you have when anyone dies are just so over whelming when someone appears to make that choice.

I am so sorry to hear about your son , Hope4thefuture. I cannot imagine what that would be like. The little boy didn not find his father fortunately.

Thank you for your thoughts Dadsgirl1.

The family seems to be going okay at the moment. The younger boy doesn't seem to really understand what is going on. The older boy has thrown himself into his studies but seems to be okay and the wife seems to be coping as well as you can under the circumstances.

Watch out for the children. My other son was 11 when his brother committed suicide. He seemed fine for about 9 months and then it seemed to hit him. Just letting you know.