Bereavement Support Group

My son is buried right under a tree so we always have a giant bow around the tree and a windchime in the branches. The first year he always had something up there on every holiday and different things I'm sure that were placed from friends. The last year it has tapered off and mostly just on his birthday and angel day. A couple of weeks ago I found two cups from starbucks. One had been drank and the other full both sitting there. I'm sure a friend went up and sat and had a cup and left one for A.J. Right now we have mini plastic pumpkins hanging like ornaments in the tree. You are not nuts. What else can we do for them now? Take a pic of your sons grave and post a pic.

How wonderful that he is remembered and loved.

Hi, you are fine and doing what you can. My son was cremated and his ashes are in a small moselium about 5 feet off the ground where I can walk up and kiss his name plate. I will be there with him someday. We are not allowed to put stuff around it but I have taken over the landscaping planting flowers this summer, mulching, putting mums there in the fall and have tulips planted for spring. My son loved live flowers and always sent me two dozen roses for my birthday which last year were sitting on the fireplace the day he passed. My birthday wishes were the last I got to talk with him the previous week. So I will figure out how to get some roses planted by his place of rest. I tell people about what I do and do not care what they think it is all I have to do for him, except pray. God Bless you and do what you need to do.

I always thought you keep the grave clean and plant flowers seasonally. The only exceptions, I thought, were a flag for Vets or a photo encased. Anything else, I thought was over and above.

While I'm not for balloons or too much beyond what we expect to see, ironically, I began leaving things on the family grave after Mama died. Her first birthday gone was her 100th - and I left a 100th Birthday card framed (against the elements) and a grave blanket with three numeric candles (1-0-0). Christmas, I left a card and so on for Valentine's, Mother's Day, etc. Mama would have protested all that - not our style - but it's strange how our emotions dictate what we do. It's not to ask if it's the norm. Our emotions dictate.

Of course it is!!!!!! Why should his grave be any less of an individual than he was??? Mu youngest son had all sorts of stuff in his casket. (I cremated it all with him. there were bracelets, letters. beer. a joint (sorry people) necklaces, locks of hair, poems, pictures, and my grand daughter had me to dip all 3 of our dogs paws in paint and put their paw prints on a piece of construction paper. Each paw was labeled with the dogs name, and she got everyone in attendance to sign the paper.( I copied that and kept the copy.) Now the wierd part. My son's ashes are in a half gallon Anniversary Idition Jack Daniel's Whiskey bottle. It has gold lettering and a glass stopper (sealed of course.) My brother in law spent 3 days figuring out how to paint the inside of the bottle black, so no one can see through the glass. It is solid black inside so all you see is the gold letters. Maybe I did go crazy, maybe I still am, but it WAS PAUL 1000% That would have made him laugh and be happy, especially to aggrivate the people who did not approve. Paul had a rebek streak. I do to, just a lot smaller than his was. You are great Love Peggy

Email me when yall get a reply to this or a comment Peggy