What is Bereavement
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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Hi-My Mom died April 21st and I'm realizing today that I have been blocking feeling anything that will make me cry. The first month I felt guilt about some things....the second month I started thinking about all of the things that aggrevated me about her and provoked me to speak up or have an argument with her......I'm into the third month now and I guess God wants me to face it....she's gone. My Mom was an anchor for me and my siblings. I knew she loved me even if at times she didn't like me. But, she counted on me, trusted my common sense and knew I would call her every day. We had a tumultous relationship but she was so important to me! I can't bear her not being here and I realize I've been walking around in a fog for 3 mos. I had a good cry tonite. Just wondering how long this void will last. On her deathbed she told me I'd get over this in time. I just don't know if I will. Thanks for listening.
Posted on 07/03/09, 08:07 pm |
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aww hunny.. ur goin through the grief process.. and i promise it will get better...
it does get easier with time.. its been 2 years since my daddy died and i can believe ive come this far.. ill be here if u need me darlin.. 
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It' alright to cry. My mom and I didn't see eye to eye either at times but, I loved her and she loved me.
The last time I visited her in the nursing home, she asked me to pray that she could go home and I said you mean home where you lived. She smiled and said "no son, pray that I can go home" and she pointed towards Heaven. I siad Mom, if that's what you want me to do, Iwll do it. She said, "That's what I want". I did as she asked an a week later, she went "home". Now, I am dealing with the death of my son 4 years ago July 6th. He was 37 when he died in a car wreck. Every year at this time, I get sad too so, I know how you feel. You never really get over this type thing but, you learn to get through it and live with it. My prayers are with you. Oldbiker
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losinghope and oldbiker-
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and I'm so sorry for your losses as well. This site is so great in that I never really feel alone. Thank you again for your caring and my prayers go out to you. xx
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what you are feeling is called the grieving process. we have all been there. a retired funeral director told my mom when my dad passed away 7 years ago, that everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. not to let anyone tell her that she was doing it wrong or not in the the right time frame. tears are part of the healing process. [[[[[hugs}}}}}} jan
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Thank you gamma for your thoughtfulness in replying to my post. And hugs back to you! xxx
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Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. I sometimes didn't get along with my mom either but I took care of her for 8 1/2 years after my dad died and I know that she appreciated it. We sometimes got on each others nerves but I know how much she loved me and she knew how much I love her. That's whats important. Take care!
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Thanks so much Kate. Your reminder helped. xx
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Hi, I can relate to what you are saying. My mother passed away in January. I think I have done everything I can to avoid facing that she's gone. Holidays are very hard for me. I don't have any siblings, and both my parents are gone now. I do have my children but they are grown and are beginning lives of their own. At time I feel very lost and lonely. She was always there for me even though we didn't always see eye to eye. I don't think it matters how old we are or how much we argued they were our "moms", and it's hard when they are gone. I do know the pain does ease in time. It did with my dad. It took about a year when my dad died but it is different for everybody. Just take it one day at a time and let yourself grieve.
Life will never be the same but we will be okay. Hugs Barb
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BabsyK-
Thank you for your reply. I guess I'll just have to wait it out and trust that in time.....it won't be as painful. When my Dad died, I was only 27......When my Mom died, I was 57......I had her in my life so much longer than I had him and I think it really makes a difference in how much grief you feel. My Dad's death was a shock...but I was young enough to keep busy in order to block the devastation of it....At this age, I'm not busy enough and I'm finding it so much harder. Thanks again. xxx
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My mom died December 07 and I still cry for her. Now the only family I have left, my sister and neice are moving 2000 miles away. Though not a death, it is a loss. The thought of not seeing them on a regular basis is so painful. It does get better in time, and ther is no right or wrong way or length of time. God bless you and all in this group. Grief is so very hard.
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