What is Bereavement
Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has a physical, cognitive, behavioural, social and philosophic...
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How much can we share our pain with friends?
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Hi all,
I have lost my sister suddenly to Leukemia and we were extremely close. The last 2 yrs we lived closely away from our home country and she meant the world to me. Sometimes, I feel sad or at work or when I listen to her favourite songs, etc. I talk a lot about my feelings with my closest brothers and sisters because we are in the same position and it really helps. When it comes to friends, I am finding it hard to adjust. Even with my very recent boyfriend, I feel I expect too much from him but on the other hand I dont want to involve him too much. Its extremely hard to summarize my entire life with someone I loved and lived all my life. Sometimes I think people also dont get what I went through and how much I helped and how I would give my life for her. This is just a thought I wanted to share, not sure if anyone here has the same dilemma, on what to share what not? Posted on 07/02/09, 08:07 am |
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Very much the same. I lived with my mother my whole life. So, every topic of discussion involves 'before Mama declined, when she was in hospital bed', etc...everything is that sort of timeline. That's all there is for me now. Before and after Mama. I'm alone, and I'm declining now. 
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There's something about the love you give and receive from a parent or sibling that nothing can replace. My Mom and I had our differences from the day I was born but when she died 2 months ago....I felt like the rug was pulled from underneath me. Her love was an anchor in many ways for me and now that she's gone, I feel such a void. I used to call her twice a day and just that alone is a big change in my life. I'm struggling every day and most days I find I'm blocking all of it which is causing depression for me. You are not alone in your thoughts. xxx
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We all wonder at first what is too much to say. I finally realized that in order to endure I had to talk when I needed to talk. I knew my real friends would understand and the others would drift away. That is how it should be.
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You are an individual person with a personality that is uniquely yours. Your grief is also the same. You are going to grieve, just as diffrently as you do everything else. That is as it should be. We all grieve diffrently. You just grieve the way that you need to. You so what feels right for you and you . It is not a thing that has a way to measure in depth or time, or in any terms. You just grieve the way you have to in your way and your time. Share what you feel like sharing with who ever you feel like sharing it with. That is how I think it works. Bless you,Peggy
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