Bereavement Support Group

Hello All...

Thank you again for the well wishes. I wanted to update everyone.

So Thursday was his Funeral. I was just a mess. I sat with his family and I could not stop crying. I sat in between his best friend and his cousin. I could barely hear what the preacher was saying because I just could not stop crying. Well, the service and the church was beautiful. His obituary was so powerful as well. I realize how lucky I was to have known him. He was really quite an individual with so many accomplishments.

Then after, we all drove to New Jersey where he was going to be cremated and placed with his mother. While driving there (I did drive) my two great friends were with me trying to make me laugh and feel better about things. I appreciate them for coming with me. Once we got there we had a goodbye ceremony where everyone placed a rose on the casket. Right here is where I could not control myself. I placed the rose then just started to cry uncontrollably. It was me and his two other best friends who kept crying. I stayed with the casket until they told me that I had to leave. I found out that they were not going to cremate him that day but the next day (Friday mourning). The family decided that we would come back the day before Labor day to place him with his mother.

After this, we all went back to a friend's house for the repass (I'm not sure what that meant, I'm Catholic, but it just means where all the family and friends would gather afterwards to eat and talk). I felt like a part of his family. Everyone was so nice to me. They were very helpful. My friends were also there to comfort me. The family even invited me and his friends to their family reunion. I remember him saying that he would take me to it. So I feel like I should go. It's only right.

But I did it. I actually was strong enough to do it. I hope he is looking down at me and saying that he is proud of me. I hope he is watching over me. I loved him so much. All I do is think of him. But I know he would want me to be happy and to stay strong. I just need to try and take it day by day.

I'm trying. But it will be a long road ahead. At least I got over that big hump (wake and funeral). Now, the real test begins....

xoxo

I am so proud of you, you did it. I feel your pain, my husbands death, and memorial were the hardest thing I feel I ever had to do, not child birth that was easy or my mother in laws death, but my husbands death was the hardest on me. You did it and that is the first step. lean on your freinds and cry to get it out. My husband was my rock too and I feel like the 21 years we were a dream and im awake now, and I dont like it. Trust in god and pray alot, i will pray for you and keep you in my heart. your friend dawn

First off you have come to the right place, your days ahead will be hard and you will need support. I'm glad you reached out and are not trying to handle it alone. You will get through this, you will be okay. Each step is hard and at times you feel like your walking backwards, that is okay to. Please continue to share your feelings and reach out to those that understand your pain. Truly its the only way to get through this. I am here anytime you need to talk. I'm very sorry for your loss and the loss of those that loved him.

Dee,
I know exactly what u are going thru. My boyfriend passed away last week. Its a very long story but he was not close to his family that lived in California. So myself and his best friend that I have never met before this all happened have been making the funeral arrangements. The viewing and funeral is this wednesday. I have been thru every emotion, disbelief, the constant crying, cant sleep, anger over and over on a daily basis. This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go thru and I feel completely alone. Like yourself, Jeff, my boyfriend, was my rock so I keep praying to him that he helps me thru all this. I miss him terribly. I hope I can get thru this week like you did. If you ever want to talk please feel free to email me.
Katie

Hello Dee, I know what you're going though and I know the way you feel, there is nothing that I can tell you at this point that will make you feel better right now, I want you to know that is is an honor to be the last person to talk to your love before they pass. My husband died in a similar way it was a heart attack but it was brought on by the heat., that was a year ago June 9th, I miss his terrible and he was my best friend, but to know that he trusted me more than anyone else and called me is an honor. Later as you learn to deal with the grief and how to process it, you will see that although you weren't talking you were always in his heart and that is confirmation to the fact that he loved you! You pray and ask God to help you and give as much to him as you can each time you pray and it will get easier! God Bless you and continue to keep you!

I lost my wife and daughter in a car accident 7 years ago. It was the worst possible shock you can imagine, so I feel your pain. Do not feel guilty as time passes to have pictures, songs, or letters that you return to help and draw feelings from, no matter how much time passes. That last phone call was a tough blow, but don't let that memory replace the memories and flashbacks that made your relationship. Peace be with you. Write me anytime.

I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express my sympathy enough. That he turned to you for help in his moment of need shows how important you were to each other, the bond you shared.

Last year I lost my estranged husband. I had kicked him out for his drug problem. He died alone in his apartment, suddenly. I never got to say goodbye, never got to say the words I needed to say...

I choose to beleive that maybe, just maybe they can hear us still, even though they are gone. It may sound crazy, but at times I talk to him (just not when others are around!) say what you want to say to him, say what you want to say to God, he is always listening. and know that you were blessed with all the days you did have together - remember the good.

The shock you are feeling right now will wear off. It will get better. Hang in there.

Hello everyone....

Thank you for all of the support. It has been a very hard three weeks since my boyfriend passed. I have had great support from my friends and my boyfriend's friends. They have really reached out to me. But I also must say that this web site is really a great support and blessing. I have become friends online with many great people offering their support to me and sharing their own stories. It's comforting to talk with others that share your feelings. I know that death is something that we all must go through but having the support is really tranquil.

I find myself being very lonely at times, then other times I'm at ease. My emotions are all over the place. I sometimes feel crazy because I carry in my purse the program from the funeral as well as his business cards (he was an attorney). I talk to his picture and kiss it. I make jokes to him as if he was next to me. I have been wearing his colonge when I go to work. These things make me feel better and crazy at the same time. I don't know.

I am also going to start grief counseling in August. I'm happy about it. Hopefully it will help me to put things in perspective.

Please take care and reach out to me. I really like to know how others are doing with their own situations. I appreciate all the well wishes and support. I don't mind supporting others as well.

Thank you again...
Deej xoxo

I'm sorry for your loss Deej. I also lost my boyfriend to a massive heart attack and the pain is so terrible.
Surround yourself with family and friends. During this time it's important to have good social and emotional support, or else you'll retreat and become reclusive from society, and this may lead to horrible acts (i.e suicide). I say this because this is what I did...and I tried to suppress and deny everything that was happening for a few months. This definitely didn't help, and I when I finally accepted it, it was horrible. But I think I can say that the pain is easing and ebbing away.
Remember him and all the wonderful times. I hope you grow strong and cherish everyone important to you.
XOXOX